7th Heaven

Seven-day countdown before I leave for Canada. I’m not sure how long I’ll be there. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to visit the Philippines at least once a year, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea not to. Except, I won’t see my baby sister. She’s the most precious little thing for me right now in my life. And if there could be any reason for me not go is that of her. But I got to do what I got to do. 😟

Even though I know I have little time left here, it still hasn’t entirely dawned on me yet that I will be starting my life again somewhere. I visited a relative today and she said to me, “Aren’t you scared of doing it alone?” I just said, “Not really” which is true. No one can actually be prepared for this kind of thing. I just got to dive head first and act like I know what I’m doing to survive.

I’m excited again to get lost in an unfamiliar city, meet strangers and learn its history. But most of all, to figure life along the way. How lucky I am to be able to find myself while enjoying myself at the same time.

Seven more days to go,

See you, Canada.

xx

crazy mofo

Real quick here, I feel that love is both underrated and overrated in so many ways. I was annoyed with how things went today. My day didn’t turn out to be quite as smooth as I hoped it’d be. But this is just another day, right? People can be pretty dense and insensitive talaga. Diba. They don’t even give importance to the things that are important to you. So annoying. I can’t. I’m not even making sense right now. But so is that mofo.

Gee

A Memory I’ll Miss

I positioned myself where I could both hear and see what everybody else is doing. I am having a great day so far. It’s 3 PM and they’re in the middle of fishing some tilapias while I retreat myself in a secluded corner where I can write my thoughts. Today, I came to visit grandmother in Tigaon, a more province place than where I live. Growing up in this town makes me appreciate the simple life and understand the simple ways of life.

Earlier, I walked my bare feet on the soil to get some fresh eggs to the farm. I shrieked loudly like some sassy city girl when my foot submerged to the mud knee-high. It was too late for me to turn back and so I moved forward. It was another humbling experience for me. My uncle has a pool that is 5 feet high. My brother, sister and I ended up cleaning and brushing the pool because we plan on using it. It was so fun exerting such hard work together with them. I will definitely miss this.

This moment is so rare that we’re complete together. Now that we’re growing up, the chances of us getting all complete in one place are thinning. And so, I cherish every moment I get with them that’s why I decided to write down this moment. I always want to take a break from everything that’s happening because I would want this to be remembered forever or even etched somewhere in a writing or a picture. Now, I have to get back and live this moment with them.

I thank you for your precious time for reading this.

Always grateful,

Glaire

Hear The Great News!

Hello, everyone!

As you may know, I have been waiting for my visa decision to come. And it finally came last Thursday. I GOT APPROVAL OF MY STUDENT PERMIT IN CANADA! Wohoooo. The reason I didn’t post it as soon as I got the word is that I was too happy and emotional to do anything else besides BEING HAPPY lol. I literally shouted and cried when I heard the news. It was given to me by Ms. Karen, my visa coordinator.

The very next day I found out that I’m going to Canada, I bought a one-way ticket. I’ll be leaving next month. My summer term won’t start until the month of May, but I want to be able to adjust weeks before my class starts. Besides, I have to settle some things first like my social security number, bank account, and other important stuff.

I feel so blessed that this moment has finally come. I never actually thought about getting it in the first place, I guess, which I know is a total wrong mind set to have. But like I said, I had been down that road before of waiting and being rejected and I was just afraid of getting my hopes up ever again. But I got! I got it. I got it.
Thank you for those who never lose their faith in me. I love you all.

xoxo,

G

I Would If I Could But I Can’t So I Won’t

Why do things have to go so bad, right? Why can’t we just have some consistency in life that we don’t have to adjust and everything? More often than not, life is unfair. I’m pretty sure a lot of people would attest to that one. Life isn’t some kind of a one-way lane for everyone. Instead, it’s all about those crazy intersections that turn green all at once. I honestly thought my life was perfect back when I was a kid. At that time, my perception was blinded by ideal fantasies of what life should be. Until one day, reality finally knocked on my door, tricked me into looking the other way and stabbed me in the back. Life became pretty tricky after that. It seemed like one day I have it all figured out and the next day, it gives me another whole set of challenges from some unknown dimension.

I know perfectly well that life is supposed to be this way, that it’s meant to be this hard and knotty. Because how else am I supposed to appreciate happiness without sadness, right? And so, I don’t even know why I’m still writing my angst and depression despite knowing that life isn’t supposed to be some kind of a fairytale with a happy ending. I’m just so caught up in my emotions right now. It’s all bottled up and I can’t even let it out. I feel like talking about it out loud would be some kind of way of acknowledging that it is happening. And I’m not ready to accept that reality yet, possibly never. I hope for change to come into my life soon that I can selfishly walk away from this and never have to face it. I take it that walking away to the problems won’t solve any of it. But in this case, if I could run away every time at every chance I get, I would.

xx,

gee

FumiShun Base Fan

Wanna know what I’ve been up to lately? Well, I am now a certified first aider. I just finished my training two days ago. It was hella fun, I’m telling ya. So yes, I learned about doing CPR, rescue breathing, bandages and some other basic stuff. Totally amazing! Hahaha. One of my friends told me ‘kung ano ano nalang’ meaning like you’re so random—that’s the closest I could think of a translation lol sorry if it didn’t do any justice. And yes, I was pretty much so bored I thought why not sign up for a first aid class.

Fast forward to now, I’m currently on the road of editing another video. Finally, right? Another inspiration has landed on me and I am not letting it go. That’s according to Big Magic, my new favorite self-guided book. It says that once the inspiration shows up, use it until it leaves you because it’s not going to be with you all the time, which is basically true to me. I don’t always feel the urge to do things just sometimes maybe when I’m being visited by the god of inspiration.

But here’s a hiccup to that, I can’t stop watching vlogs. HAHA. I have this new favorite Japanese vlogger. His YouTube channel name is FumiShun BASE. In such a short span of time, I think I may have already watched almost all of his video. I find him so funny and interesting. Not just that, but I have a crush on Yuyu—not sure if I remember his name correctly—because he kinda reminds me of Oguri Shun, which is another one of my fave Japanese actors. Uggh, Japan. Take me there!!!!

Anyway, I need to work…

Jaaaaa 😫

Kind of Sad

As per usual, Saturday is being spent productively on my bed, not with someone though, but just with my laptop. You have a dirty mind. I woke pretty early just because I always have my alarm set at 5:50 am, which I always plan on like taking that alarm setting off but nevertheless always fails to do it, anyway. So we had our breakfast as a family together. Finally, my mom is having a late breakfast with us and not rushing to get to the store. She left it in charge with someone for today, just so she can at least spend a peaceful morning not scurrying around like a woman on fire. I decided not to come with her to the store for today, instead, I just cleaned my room early this morning after she left with Shobe. I was kind of like planning on filming something for today but then there were calls on the queue and I had to work on it—it’s an online job.

Besides that, everything seems to be normal nowadays. Well, except for my never-ending anxiousness about the waiting game on my visa. But I’m learning to throw my IDGAF attitude on it little by little or else I might die in my sleep if I don’t stop this torture. I do have another thing going on, but it’s very personal. And it’s bothering me too.

Remember when I mentioned about my inner peace being one of those calm before the storm kind of thing? I’m kind of getting the vibe that there is a huge wave coming on my way and that I am both furious and scared for it.

Also, a bit realization I’ve been having has been on my mind lately. I’ve only known a couple of people who really stood out in my life and have/had a really great connection with me. Some are still present in my life and some has gone with the wind. Unfortunately, even with friends, there aren’t always happy endings. It’s not just romance that ends up sabotaging the relationship, but even mere friends do that. Friends are capable of hurting you, loving you and making you feel like you don’t need anyone but them. And when you got hurt by them, you think about how it would be nice to have never met them at the first place and that you wouldn’t have this scarred memories for life if you hadn’t known them at all. Then, I think about what was my life before them? Not to say nothing, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have the time of my life with them. My life was pretty quiet for sure without them, but I know I would have chosen crazy over boring any time, anyway. And so bottom line, I probably shouldn’t shut myself out too much with people because I know they give so much life to me. And that one bad experience shouldn’t ruin my trust with others.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read.

As always,

Arigatou.

Can Too Much Anticipation Kill?

I cannot wait for my application to be done with. I just got the tracking number to track my application just the other day, and I’ve been checking on it since then. I know it doesn’t make sense to worry and write things about this, but I am freaking out. I am sick, like literally, and all I could think about is if I’m approved or not. It’s been close to a month since I last worked out, which was crazy because I have been leaning more into meat and rice for the last couple of days. I’m not that worried yet about my weight, but I’m concerned a little bit about my health. I need to move and exercise more. But right now, I’m sick and exerting more effort won’t do any good for my body.

So I busy myself with cleaning my room, organizing my stuff, writing in my journal, revamping my blog and watching a bunch of tutorials. I should really start making that video on our La Union trip, but I just don’t get that inspiration yet. All of the videos I made were made out of sheer inspiration if that makes sense. I don’t like ‘trying’ to make a video. I do it when I want to and I feel like doing it. I don’t do it for the sake just to have a video coming out of a trip.

I think there are things that I wanted to share and do right now, but something is holding me back. And that’s the fear of not being able to get a student permit. I kinda feel everything is put on hold before the decision and that I could only resume my normal life once it has been decided.

If you’ve been reading my previous posts about me having that inner peace, well that’s not true anymore. HAHAHA. Who am I kidding? I’m not at peace, yo! I can’t even do the one thing that I’m good at and that’s sleeping early. Now, I can’t do that. 12 am is usually when drowsiness hits me and that’s not even good for my low blood pressure. Anyhow, I still have a month to wait. AND THIS IS KILLING ME, YOU THINK?!

xoxo,

glaire 😦

Lightroom Preset Giveaway

I get questions on how I edit my pictures. I used to edit using VSCO but sometimes, it’s not just enough. So I switched to using Adobe Photoshop Lightroom Classic. LR Presets are installable photo effects or filters that can quickly improve mood and color of a photo with just a click. You need to have the desktop version for it to use or you can get it here.

Since you know how much I love, love you guys, I decided to share some Lightroom Presets that I’ve made. I hope you like them and tell me what you think about it. If you like some more, I could make a bundle pack. And I’ll let you guys know.

I’ll try to add a few more presets now and then, so try to check from time to time. And you should be set by following this instructions on importing and using the presets!

Urban Japan Preset 

two (2) presets available: Day Version and Night Version

Japan Presets, these two presets gives a traditional look for your every outtakes. The UJ day preset gives your picture a green hue which complements the green surroundings of the country or any Southeast Asian countries. On the other hand, the UJ night preset gives that comic vibe reflecting on colorful street signage. I made two versions just because the settings are different depending on the time of the day.  Although, inspired by Japan, this can be widely used in any other photos from around the world! 

 

Click images to download:

                                                                                                          

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