I officially welcome 2016. Happy New Year from Chicago! I can’t stressed enough how grateful I am for 2015. I have this two great things that happened this 2015. First, I graduated from my 4 year degree course and march at the age of 19. 🙂 Second, six months after I packed my things and went to Chicago. Man, I’ve never been so happy.
No more resolutions lol it just doesn’t work for me. But I’ll try to be more positive and keep looking forward to everyday. Carpe Diem,right?
So here’s to a new year…Keep dreaming and don’t stop just because you think it’s impossible. Your actions are directed towards your dream so keep going darling cause you’re on the right track. Have a good one!
Basically, she’s the fattest and shortest woman alive and just my luck cause…she happens to be my roommate. She’ll be pissed when she reads this. 😂 Anyway, she came here three months ahead of me so she pretty much teach me everything there is to know. When I came here, she begged me that we moved in together I was like okay sure why not. But then, I regret it the second I discovered she was a mess. She tosses her things here and there. She leaves her used tissue wherever. She is so damn loud I cannot take her anymore. Oh god please. 😒😟 Anyway, if ever I kicked her out of my apartment just for your safety I will post a picture of her so you’d say NO when she asks if she can be your roommate. Hi Sheena, peace out yo. 😹✌🏻️
You guys, stop it. 😂 Just kidding. She is really pretty, smart and crazy.
But yeah, I might still kick her out so watch out. I’m serious.
Ever wonder what I am doing here in Chicago? No, we don’t ca—...okay 😒 I’m telling this for those who care and don’t just bc I like to annoy the hell outta you. 😛 Well, I am here for my internship. Ever since I graduated college, I had been aiming for this opportunity. I applied then and I waited like it was the most frustrating waiting game ever. There was not a day where I don’t check up on my status. Until, they finally found a company fit for my degree. I was placed in an accounting firm in downtown Chicago—long live the city! The city is amazing. The weather is extreme here and it wasn’t called the Windy City for nothing. I couldn’t go out without my coat wrapped closely around my body and my hands shoved in my pocket. Did I mention it’s snowing in Chicago? Because oh my god the first time I experienced snow, I totally and literally jumped out of joy. It happened on my way home with my roommate—she’s annoying btw and she knows it 😉—and I didn’t see it coming because it was dark and I thought it was just raining but then I felt there was this tingling sensation every time it hit my skin. That’s when Sheena(roomie) screamed it was snowing. We both squirmed loudly like a little girl! We got lost on our way home and we were freezing cold but damn it’s snowing who cares. 🙂 Also, it’s so cold in here I dont sweat at all. Lol maybe that’s the reason why I already gained 10 pounds since I came here. Sheena and I enrolled in gym but seriously waking up shivering from cold isn’t exactly motivating so nah pig life it is. So far, I am liking it in here. I get to see and meet different kind of people. I see people with rainbow hair and gothic attires and nobody bats an eye. Lmao If it were in my country, he/she is gonna be a mile radius head turner. It’s just so fun in here really, I barely even feel the days passing turning them into a month already.
I woke up half an hour ago and can’t sleep since then even though I just drifted off 5 hours ago. Anyway, I decided to just open my laptop and see what I can do and this apparently is what I am doing right now.
It’s been more than a month since I came to Chicago. 🙂 Yes, and I still have 12 months here to go. I’m not homesick and never was since I first came here. It’s weird? I don’t know. Maybe because this is what I wanted in my life since god knows when: to explore and be away with people I know. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family more than anything but for me it just doesn’t mean getting to see them everyday. I talk to them everyday, if you’re wondering. I’m loving my life here except well the weather lol. The first time I set foot outside the airport it’s so freakin cold I almost wished to go back. 😅 But everyday, I learn to love and accept the abnormality of the weather here although there’s not a day I don’t say “Oh my god, it’s cold today”.
Anyway, that’s all for now. My moment for writing just flew out of my body lol.
I am fat today! No seriously, I am really getting fat! I am turning myself into something I don’t ever wanna be. HAHA. Anyway, things are a little bit getting okay. Though not saying completely okay bc I know how fucked up emotions can be. One minute you’re feeling awesome and cool and the next minute you’re begging yourself to that person. Ugh, I know. Maybe I am just being too much comfortable with the situation that’s why instead of getting pretty and slim I am drawn towards the opposite. Yeah, usually when something bad happens, I observed that I try to make myself feel better by dressing up and toning my body lol shut up I am sure you guys do the same thing. But not for me this time, my god I wish the aftereffect was me being transformed into a swan goddess instead of a pig ready for butcher. 😒
Hey. I am quite excited for the coming months. You see, I am anticipating something which I still cannot announce publicly. Even though I know, no one really visits this blog so who cares. 😹 Oh shut up.
There’s really no such thing as having an “anxious mind.” There is only having your anxiety fueled by your thoughts (which is something that everyone experiences now and again). But the people who tend to feel it most intensely are those whose rapid thinking is in constant contrast to their super chill, laid back personalities. They never know when to fight or flight, everything seems like an over-reaction, and their self-angst is maxed out, because their hearts are calm and their heads are crazed, more often than they will ever admit. Here, all the things that happen when you have an anxious mind and a laid back personality.
1. You epitomize leading a life of “quiet desperation.” Half of the reason you’re anxious all the time is because you don’t naturally act or, therefore, process your emotions, and while that’s positive in some ways, it’s debilitating in others.
2. You’re naturally zen in that you observe your emotions objectively. Which is fantastic in that you’re not controlled by them, but harmful because you then start to believe that you only have to process or truly feel the ones you want.
3. You’re highly indecisive; your head and heart are a paradox all within themselves. You feel as though you’re always going back and forth between preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, and rarely in-between.
4. You’re laid back because you know how to quiet your mind. Most of your #chill lifestyle was developed out of necessity. Your brain starts to short circuit when you overload it with any more drama or worry, so you actively go out of your way to create a life where the only problems you have are the ones you make up in your mind.
5. You’re intelligent enough to know what could possibly happen, but grounded enough to know that worrying about it won’t prevent it. You’re aware that ultimately, an infinity of unfortunate fates are to fall on us all. You often think that the whole problem with humans is that we’re animals that don’t want to be animals… beings who do everything in their power to make their collective eventuality (death) more palatable in any way.
6. Yet, you’re most comfortable with your life when you feel prepared for the worst. Your mind constantly goes back to what you’d do if you were to lose a job, lose a relationship, etc., and when you realize that your savings account will support you or that you won’t be emotionally wrecked by losing one particular person, you feel free to happily go about your life.
7. You seek solitude and relaxing environments so your brain can process and deprogram and let off steam. You’re not one of those people that needs any more external stimuli to keep them entertained or wondering or interested – you’ve got that all covered, perhaps to an unhealthy degree.
8. You are your own locus of control. And perhaps this is the most positive characteristic you have: you do not assume that anybody else is responsible for your emotions, and you know this because thinking otherwise places you in a minefield of suffering for the rest of your life.
9. You’re very casual about your self-development. You’re one of those people who reads Deepak Chopra on the beach.
10. You’re non-confrontational to a fault. You’ll do anything to avoid not having to upset anybody and that often results in you not communicating how you really feel, when doing so would eliminate the problem altogether.
11. You often wonder if it is your resistance to action that creates your anxiety-thoughts. That maybe feeling jealous or anxious or upset is just an internal call to do better, one that’s being avoided.
12. You’re fascinated by personality types and the ways humans function. You’re probably into astrology or psychology or Myers Briggs personalities, and your classifications of people within these systems infiltrates your daily conversation about them. Ultimately, it helps you understand yourself better.
13. You keep a tight social circle. You feel like you can only really have fun when you’re in the presence of people you’re truly comfortable with. Otherwise, you’re trying to mentally place yourself enough to be comfortable.
14. You’re particular about what you want, yet super chill about what you have. You probably need to keep a gratitude journal if you don’t have one already, one, because that’s something you’d be into, and two, because you have a hard time being completely “in the moment.”
15. You’re all but convinced that the smartest people on Earth have somehow transcended their neurological hardwiring, and know how to just enjoy life. You know that “ignorance is bliss” may be a misquote and a generally terrible way to approach life, and yet you often fantasize about how lovely it would be to just not worry at all. Side note: you also probably love dogs.
16. You’ll argue that over-thinking and your apprehension to immediately trust someone is, in fact, what preserves your peace of mind. While not always the healthiest frame of experience, you can also acknowledge that it’s people who are too trusting and too shallow in their assumptions that end up getting hurt and manipulated and so on.
18. Your entire life struggle can be summed up as not having “the wisdom to know the difference.” You’re very good at letting go. You’re even better at trying harder. But knowing when each is appropriate is completely lost on you. Alas: the #struggle. [tc-mark]
I am totally nervous about something today. Definitely about something! Why would I be so bothered, right? Unless, it’s the coffee I drank this morning though I doubt that alone should make me feel this jitter.
Can’t sleep so I busied myself looking at the old photographs stored on my lappy! Haha! It’s so funny looking at how I was back then. Even my friends looked funny and innocent. 🙂
A Little Bit of Everything 