Hurdle Number 1 in 2018

My first hurdle of the year came this morning at my email. I was removed from the online job that I was with since last December. It’s funny because today marks the first month that I’d be working with them. I emailed them for a dispute, of course. I wanted to fight, at least, if they were to throw me out of their team. But if after that still nada, then that’s fine. It happens for a reason. Although, this morning I was really feeling blue and a bit angry. But then, I shared the news with my mom and she just know what to say. She makes everything so easy. It’s as if everything she says make sense. It’s absolutely amazing how she can do that.

Anyway, I’m currently at a cafe. Just by myself. Yep. I’ve always wanted to do this! Alone in a secluded cafe with my laptop and diary at the side table sipping coffee and eating cake. Gosh but damn that’s expensive. AHHAHAH. So yes, here I am and literally only the person in the cafe. The reason being is that I needed to download an application and the internet back home is just not helping me get that. To my dismay though, it seems like the internet in this cafe is slower than my grandma. I can’t. I’m happy that I finally did the be-in-a-secluded-cafe but come on, man, I came with a purpose. Good thing, dad called and said the electricity’s back at his place. I guess, it’s time so say good bye to this cute-but-has-shitty-internet cafe. Ciao.

 

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Thank you, 2017.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Last day of 2017. Wow. I mean, time flies so damn fast. Tomorrow, though it may not dawn on us yet that it’s 2018 already, it’s important to recognize the New Year! Make some New Year’s resolution. It’s not cliché. It’s not ridiculous to have NY’s resolution. In fact, it’s one of the ways to show that we are ready for a new beginning and we are ready to move forward with a positive attitude. I used to think that making a resolution for the New Year is absurd because, let’s face it, no one actually make it to the second day of a new year without violating something on their lists. 😂 But now, I’ve realize that it’s not about just the simple repetitive list that we make. More importantly, it’s about having the right mind setting as we enter into a new year. I know we have all the time to do whatever it is to change whenever we want to, but this is the chance especially for those who hasn’t begun in their make-over journey. Having the list as your guide will help you stay in line for your focus and goals throughout the year. If you don’t agree, then I understand. You must be going through something to even care about waking up let alone having a NY’s resolution. I’ve been there so I know.

But anyway, if you were to sum up this year into one sentence, what would it be?

I bet you’re all like This year has been such a rollercoaster of events and emotions or I’m just glad year is over or something like what I would go for this year like This year has been a salvation year for me.

I had the rollercoaster type of answer for years wherein I was thankful despite the majority shitness throughout every year. I remember struggling to feel okay and see the light despite the shady things in my life then. But not this time.

On January, a month since I came home, I was feeling lonely more than happy to be back.  I didn’t have a work and I was missing my life in Chicago. Basically, I was still adjusting to everything.

On March, I decided to pursue my application to universities. I wanted to have A life back in order. I let myself be sad. I let myself cry. I let myself loath. But I also told myself that there’s an end to this.

On June, I turned 22. Also on my birthday was my last day to drink alcohol. Been sober ever since.

On July, the month that completely changes me. Here’s the month I started healing and the month I started to get sick. Just when I started getting rid of toxins and bad habits both in my body and mind, I was diagnosed with a sickness. A semi-major sickness, just to categorized. By that time, I had already got in and enrolled for the Spring 2018 but since I was sick, I had no choice but to defer.

On September, I was getting better. Thanks for the help of the people who cares about me.

On November, easy come easy go seemed to be the highlighted quote of the month.

On December, here I am. Still fighting and hoping and breathing and everything! I am happy. When one goes, comes a better one. Now, that’s a better quote I have than the last month.

Thank you, 2017. Thank you for hurting me, loving me, teaching me a lesson, abandoning me. You made me nothing but stronger this year. I am so happy that finally some part of me is back in piece with myself. This year was not much but staying home but the lessons I learned, the development I’ve gained were much more than the year I had when I was being productive.

This is my last message for the year. I’ll be seeing you, next year!

Ja ne,

Gureru

Merry Christmas 🎄

Merry Christmas! Honestly, this day couldn’t get any more ordinary than our usual day. But it’s nice to be alive and feel the magic in the air where people who you haven’t talked in a while drops a greeting on your Messenger, ampao from Santa Claus and foods at Noche Buena that are quite enough to last for a month. Not much any positivity to share right now. So you guys have a merry christmas and enjoy the holidays with the fambam.

xoxo,

G

happy kiddo ^__^

I’m proud and earning. LOL. It’s not much but it’s definitely making me want to wake up early every morning. It’s like, finally! Looking forward to a work that I definitely enjoy. Hehe. I’m a blessed kid. I just am.

I can’t wait to see my brother later. He’s coming home with us to celebrate the holidays. I can feel mother’s excitement this far.

Alrighty. Talk to you guys tomorrow.

G

Long Thoughts on a Long Night

Ah. Tonight’s going to be a long night again. I’m traveling to Manila by car tonight for my monthly medicine refill. I’m with my baby sis. She’s eagerly seated beside me and I bet she’s feeling some kind of independency right now. She just challenged me to stay awake throughout the whole journey. Saying she doesn’t need sleep. Annoying but cute. I’m on my usual position seated just behind the driver’s seat. My feet extended in front of me, blanket set on my entire half, earphones plugged in my ears listening to Love by Finding Hope, pillow on my lap and scarf snaked around my neck looks like I’m all set. Perfect. Did I mention it’s raining?

I’d say this year has been all about being idle, literally and mentally. It didn’t leave me much choice. The unfortunate happenings, I mean. Although somehow, maybe I could’ve done something to be busy. But this gave way to discovering the things that are important to me. It’s like finding a hidden treasure in my life. I’m like one of those kids starring at the movie The Goonies where they went out for an adventure to find a hidden treasure. Only in my version, I’m just stationary most of the time. They have the saying with one leaving comes a better one. And something just keeps leaving in my life only to be replace by something better and even more better with the next thing that comes. Or maybe it’s just the way I perceived it. I always look for a reason to be thankful. My motto in life is one of those clichés, “Everything happens for a reason.”

‘Tis The Season For Love ❤️

5 more days until the hanging of stockings. I wish my Santa won’t be cheap this year. Hahaha I am just dropping by. I decided that I will be leaving a little realization every day until Christmas to talk about my learnings or just what I feel about. Also, taking a little bit break from all the work and stuff.

With the recent events, I’ve never been happy, motivated and excited in a very long time. I just wish that everyone is feeling the same thing that I do especially it’s Christmas season. No matter how cliché that sounds, ’tis the season for love, and we should all try to at least be happy and welcome the New Year with a good vibe. I know I wouldn’t have said it 3 years ago when I was feeling miserable and empty, but now I’m just very grateful it happened. It wasn’t exactly what I had been picturing when I was a kid on how I would be as an adult. It’s true, it has been a little bit bumpy on my journey—hell, most of the times, I was and still am just confused as to whether take a left or right—but no one ever claimed that life is a no-brainer. So there you go. I’m clinging to life as much as possible and making the most out of it. Haha I mean, I don’t know about making the most out of it for now. But I am at peace—at the moment, I guess—and I know a lot of people don’t have that, so I’m thankful.

Arigatou.
Ho Ho Ho,
G

Last Half Month of 2017

Hooray for finally making another blog update on this site. I may have been a little bit obsessed with some freelance work. And it’s all thanks to Saki! Thank you, haha!

Let’s see, 10 days before Christmas…Who’s getting excited?! I am not that hype up about it, though. I mean, the food is definitely something to look forward to but my fam isn’t too big on gift givings—and that’s just my main concern, really. But yes, all is good. Meanwhile, I didn’t enroll in MMA this month because I feel like I’d be wasting my money on this holiday season. You know how it is with the Filipinos and their holiday celebrations. The food, the bonding, the everything. One day just won’t suffice for it all so better save my precious money for next year. Also, I’ve been in contact with my agent again regarding with my visa documents. A few more requirements but I should be fine by next month. And of course, December won’t be complete y’all if it didn’t have a storm coming up on our country. So, everyone’s locked up in their houses because the weather is starting to get bad. No classes but hopefully it doesn’t get bad as last year because that’s just too much.

So there you go, a quickie update for y’all. I hope you guys are having an awesome day night or whatever! 🙂 Stay safe and dry! Love ya. 🙂

 

xoxo,

G