I’ve Been Told I’m A Good Girl

What does it mean when someone says you are a good person? Does it mean you are likeable? Smart? Kind? Nice? When good is being used as the generic term for almost everything that is not bad, it gets to the point that it is confusing sometimes.

Recently, I was told I was a good girl. I believe the reason for that comment was I refused to go out at night saying I have a curfew so the only time I can go out is during daytime. After that comment, it got me thinking how is it true that I’m such a good girl? How was I a good girl? Did I somehow pass that person’s certain criteria as “good”, or what? But most of all, why am I even doubting that remark in the first place? Is it probably because I reject the notion that I am a good girl, after all? πŸ˜‚ I’m not sure where this is leading but those are some intriguing ideas that I have.

Just wanted to point that I do consider myself as a good person;I share my blessings with other people;I pray;I love my family dearly. However, I am also aware of the evil side that I have. Not only to say that it is normal for every person to have, but I personally think one can only take so much shit in this world that the only outlet that one can have is to respond in such an awful comeback. It’s the honest truth and you know it. Despite the harsh reality though, I try to show heavenly kindness as much as I can with everyone else since I can never know what a person has been through for him/her to act that way. But that’s just me.

It would also depend on like what situation I am in. I know that there are circumstances that bring out the evil side in me and during that time is when my patience is really tested. So yeah, I’m pretty much like everyone else. Sometimes, dressed up as an angel but probably most of the time, more comfortable playing Satan’s role.

Generally, it’s so easy to just identify someone as good. Good being such a basic word nowadays that we tend to look or ask for more when we are given this as an answer. What do you mean good? Is she pretty? Boring? or Okay? Tell me something more! 

I guess my point is, the term good doesn’t even cover a tad bit of the description of my whole personality. For me, I find it  overused that it  is starting to sound meaningless, invalid and useless when it comes to how people respond to things. Not to be hypocrite, but I find myself using that word a lot too. Like when someone asks me how my day was, my to-go answer would be ‘good!’ if not ‘great’. How is it like that?  I can’t blame those people who use ‘good’ as a response though. They are probably not interested or lazy to come up with a more sensible word, just like me.

Ciao!

Love, G.

 

Ending My March with a SighΒ 

I was exactly fine 24 hours ago. I don’t know what and when it went wrong. All I can think of is how people disappoint me. No matter how good you are to them, they will always bring you down.

“They wanna see you do good, but never better than them. Remember that.”

Or maybe it’s just my PMS again. I don’t know.

Things I Look Forward To

Hello guys! Sorry for the short posts lately, I was not really inspired. I just wanted to say how hyped I am with what’s happening to me these past few weeks and for what’s gonna happen for the next couple of weeks. Here let me list down the things I’m looking forward to:

March

1. I-LEAD

Tomorrow will be the announcement for the qualified candidates to attend the 5-day leadership program in D.C. We wrote an essay about a leadership topic and then that’s it. I hope I get the chance to participate and if not, then better luck next time.

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2. Phone

I also bought a new phoneβ€”don’t worry it’s not that expensiveβ€”for a few reasons. First, I want it. LOL I need not to buy a new phone but I figured I deserve a new few things especially I’m earning my OWN money. πŸ™‚ Second, my current iPhone is locked so I couldn’t use any carrier here on the U.S. so not net which is really hard and complicated sometimes. Lastly, my phone’s starting to crank up since I’ve had it for three years now.

3. Phone Cases

I bought this adorable fur case, sticker, and wine case for my phone. I love it and I may have splurged on it but who cares.

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April

1. Night Nation Run

This I cannot truly wait! It’s a 1st running music festival, you know, DJ’s be playing while you’re running at every station and at the end of the musical voyage there’s gonna be like a big party or something. It’s going to be so much fun, don’t you think so?! I’m doing it with Sheena so we better be ready to run a 5K.

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3. Moving in with a new family

I’m gonna be moving out to this crappy house, finally! Oh my god, you guys don’t know anything but I have been living in a hell for months now. People here are so noisy, weird, and I don’t know if they’re even human. Possibly not! I mean like how can someone be so insensitive and play their music so fucking loud in morning and before freaking sleep time. Oh yesterday morning, I was still sleeping and dreaming when suddenly there’s this music blaring to the point where I thought I was dreaming about it then I woke up. Oh my gosh, so fucking rude damn it. DIEEEEEEE!

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4. Indiana

State visit wohooo!

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5. Lighthouses visit

My friend, who also happened to be an intern, planned this trip to visit the Lighthouses nearby Chicagoβ€”I’m not sure. Actually, there’s this CHI Squad that we created and the members are all interns from across the world. We kinda go together to different places when we had the chance. So now this trip, probably we’ll go the weekend after the run. Whew, my weekends are full!

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May

1. St. Louis, Missouri

Spending a 3-day vacay in that state doing sightseeing and camping with CHI Squad. πŸ™‚

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2. Washington, D.C.

If I’m qualified for the program, then I can go to the capital of the United States. *fingers-crossed*

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June

1. Duh, my birthday!

Seriously if you guys have any plans on staying here on the U.S. for more than a month, just make sure you’re not under 21 or else you’re gonna miss most of the funβ€”I mean if you’re aggressive like me.πŸ˜‚πŸ™„ SO FINALLY, I’m turning 21! Did you guys know about wearing a sash and a crown when turning 21? No? Well it’s a thing here, maybe I should do it lol. 😏

Bitch, that’s gonna be me when the bartender asks for my I.D.Kx0gwvQ

2. Niagara Falls

Still pending. But would it not be amazing to see the grand scenery of Niagara Falls?!

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3. Color Run

Haven’t bought tickets we’re still thinking about it. Psyched!

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July

1. Lollapalooza

It’s amazing how the tickets sold out fast. I had to wait for like two hours just to get past through the front gate and buy the tickets. But this is so far my most awaited event. I’m so ready! πŸ’πŸΌ

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2. Coldplay Concert

Sheen and I bought tix for their concert. We were aiming for a JB or Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato concert but the tickets were soaring and mostly were sold out anyway.  Let’s rock! Lol okay they’re not exactly a rock and roll band. πŸ˜‚ But hey, they’re not that bad.

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3. Foam Glow 5K

Another run. Hell yeah! Sheena and I are a serious runner. πŸ˜‚

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4. Las Vegas, Nevada

O.M.G. I’m 21 by that time! 😏 NYEHHEHHHEHEHHEHEHE 😈 Need I say more? And what’s great about us going there, it’s a company paid. There is this CPE convention that accountants should attend in Vegas but who says we’re required to attend that boring lecture? Lol hopefully boss won’t require us to attend the lecture and let me and Sheena wander around the Sin City. Also, there is going to be a night/ball event or something because it’s our boss’s wedding anniversary. Grand, I know!

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5. Page, Arizona

We might drive by the Antelope Canyon when we go to Las Vegas if we have chance.

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I’ll stop here for now. I remember it’s Monday tomorrow. Good night guys!

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Disclaimer: Gifs aren’t mine. 

 

Tada

Funny how Β I thought it’d be easier to write something this time.

Yet here I am, I can’t even construct a paragraph.

I’ve been on my blog for like two hours and I just can’t say anything.

Yeah well, except this crap I’m saying now…

Have my mind gone blank?Β 

Oh okay, I’m just gonna say anything that comes up in my mind.

So, since my graduation, I haven’t really gone out to attend any parties or gatherings.

I’ve been totally avoiding the crowd as much as possible.

It’s not easy but I have to, okay?

Anyway, first day of April which means…

SUMMER.

Okay bye.

 

What Is Going On?Β 

Pretending so much to be happy when I’m rotting on the inside. I don’t know what it is that I’m still asking for. I mean I already heard the good news and that alone should make me jump and scream of happiness. But no, instead I feel down. Maybe this is what they call graduation jitters. I’m scared for what’s ahead of me. I don’t see myself doing good in my life. I feel blank like uncertainty of what future holds.

Honestly though, I think I know the reason why I’m miserable at the moment. I just don’t want to admit it. But I’m fine, so much fine. So much that I could cry at any moment. I actually think there’s a lump stuck in my throat. I could be walking down the street and shed tears without any warning. I could be looking at the mirror smiling and crying at the same time yet no one will ever know it’s not tears of joy. I could look like I’m paying attention but I’m actually spacing out. Does that even sound like fine to anyone? πŸ˜‚ I’m going cray! 

I don’t want to be locked up in the house. My room isn’t exactly a therapeutic place either. I have dark orange curtains and a speaker that blares suicidal music so yeah it’s not helping. And I can’t go out at night just whenever and wherever I want. I’m not exactly a free bird. I mean I can be if I want to but the last time I did it, it was for someone and you know when someone doesn’t appreciate the risks that you do so you just stop bc you’re just human and it’s not like you’re asking something in return but a little love would be appreciated. But oh well, I’m done risking for a while. 😊

This is getting out of hand. 

I wish to disappear. 

Good night. 

Just Got Home

Hello! I’m starting to get really worried about my life here. I can’t seem to have a proper sleep every night. And all throughout the day, I resembled like a living zombie. Even now, as I’m typing this my eyes are starting to droop downwards and the weariness is now creeping inside me.  But I have to finish some things and yeah okay you may be wondering why I’m still here wasting my time instead of doing it na. I just get that feeling sometimes, you know, it makes me feel better after I’ve let my thoughts out. Even if it’s just a little comfort. πŸ˜‰ So anyway, today I had my three exams seven more to go. Hell yeah! Tomorrow another one and another for the next couple of days, I’ll be out of everyone’s way and be busy with requirements and stuff. I’m just hoping for everyone to pass this semester and be over with this. 

My eyeeees are starting to get really really…sorry cant think of anythingxto say dnow. Night*YAAAAAWN* that was the biggest yawn of my life.