Flashbacks. Surprise!

Something about tonight reminded me of a memory I was trying so hard to ignore. I’d still say it was one of the bittersweet things to remember.

I had a get together with my old friends today. We went to a friend’s place chitchatting and smoking hookah. It was a typical night out for us. You know, since mostly of them got jobs and their only free time is on weekends so it’s nice to catch up and hang with them from time to time. But even so, I was feeling uneasy especially when Twinnie started playing sad songs. It was not a depressed kind of melody but it was more of an Ed Sheeran kind of music. Perfectly right on the moment, one of the couples were sitting right in front of me displaying affection or whatever. Although it was a very sweet scene to look at—posing a romantic head on shoulder to each other—I tried not to get too deep about it. I guess, I couldn’t help but think about the time I was with someone doing the same thing.

On my last day at Chicago, me and this guy were quietly sitting at the airport waiting for my boarding time or whatever and like I said we were leaning our heads to each other like there was no one around us. Then suddenly, we both looked up to this woman—I think she was a flight attendant—who stopped right in front of us tilting her head and said “Are you two in love?” then waiting for no response she just resumed strolling ahead. We were both silent for a second until he said something like it took him a while to get what the woman said. I just smiled and I mean what could I say.

It was just one of those memories that make me smile whenever I think about it. It may not make sense to you as to why I find it so dearly to my heart but don’t you just have the same moments that you consider special despite no grand gestures included or making no sense whatsoever? Anyway, so the story doesn’t end there and here’s why I find it bittersweet:

We sat for couple more minutes before exchanging our final byes and hugs. Then while he was hugging me, he said I love you. No drum rolls in real life happening, people. Funny thing was, I questioned him three times before I finally understood what he was trying to say. I mean it totally took me by surprise that the guy even knew the word love forgodsake. Well…and that’s the end of the story. I don’t think I want to share the next happenings. 😜It was just pure embarrassment on my part. Although, I wondered if the lady did become a factor of why he said he love me. Was it somehow a push in the back for him to say something so forward? Anywise, I am still convinced that he regretted the second he blurted out those words to me. Maybe he was really feeling it but it was a spur of the moment and no one could really tell the true validity of that statement, right? But it was so sweet of him to say it and I just wasn’t sure of myself why I didn’t say it back. True to my doubts, we never even mentioned another thing about what happened at the airport. It wasn’t that of a big deal, after all.

Triggered memories, spontaneous recollections and sometimes horrible flashbacks could either make you want to hug or strangle somebody. It’s a conflict of both sides so better get ready anytime.

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Moments Like These

Before when things were a lot easier to handle, I never understand what depression was all about. I guess you will never understand until it happens to you.

Unlike then, when somehow there was something that could compensate my sadness, I know I would be okay eventually.

But not now when troubles are ten times complicated than before. When even grand comfort could not budge a bit of my misery.

What happened?

As I have told earlier, I never understand depression. But there really came a time when I felt it in me and I swear I’ve never been lonely in my life. I remember the first time depression took over me. It was that super random moment wherein I felt that overwhelming sense of sadness.

What I did then, was that I didn’t go straight home but instead I went to this milk tea place(luckily there was no one else) and spent the rest of my allowable time before curfew thinking about things. I went home after that feeling not even the slightest okay.

And now…

I think I’m having one of these moments again. My hands are trembling as I type for no reason. My heart is pounding I think I might be actually hearing it now. I HAD to leave the house and go somewhere else. So now I’m at SM and I’m keeping myself busy as much as possible.

I haven’t discussed this matter to my mom and I don’t think I need to and I’m hoping she wouldn’t know.

It’s late now. I think I have to go back and act that everything’s alright.

Wait I’m hungry. To eat or not to eat? Damn this.

Suddenly You (A One Time Thing)

Ehem. So the title says it all. This post is all about romance once again my dearest readers. But not so fast as it’s just a one shot thing. Too bad, tho. 😭😭😭

Okay so here is what the fuss is all about. I have just been chatted by my high school crush on Facebook and I was like ‘Am I dreaming?!’. I seriously did a double take at the name on the screen of my phone. Caught off guarded by his sudden ‘hey’, I replied a big smiley face.

He asked whether I knew him or not and I said yes. Kyaaaaaa! ^^ So yeah, after some awkward formalities we finally started to talk comfortably and that’s when he told me something. SOMETHING I WOULDN’T SHARE TO YOU OR TO ANYONE IN THIS WORLD. That information was only for my eyes and knowledge. Like seriously!!!!!! I can’t resist a big grin on my face. Ha-ha!

And then, THAT’S IT! 😥 😅😅😅
Haha. Anyway, it definitely made my day! Out of the blue moments of my life. ^^