Yet Another Day

Good evening to you Thursday,

You’ve been pretty harsh to me today. You held the promise of finally making me feel better after the last midterm, but why is it that even hours after I got home from school I still feel so drained out and stressed? I feel so stressed actually. It could be because of a lot of things namely studying, working and breathing. How to destress? Oshiete kudasai. It’s a lot to take in being an international student. Maybe it’s just me because my classmates seem to have a bit of a fun in classes every now and then. Should I give up? Should I just keep going, then? But what if it doesn’t make me happy anymore? I’m confused. Does it not make me happy because I didn’t want what I was studying or just because I didn’t get my midterm? Would I say I feel alright if I got the midterm, then? What the fuck? Another day, yet another drama from me as always. I wonder how grown-ups figure it all out? Maybe they haven’t really figure shit out, right? They just go with the flow with life and see how it well turns out for them. If it doesn’t, well no one lives eternally to deal with it anyway. I don’t even know what’s up. Tomorrow, tomorrow…I made plans for tomorrow. I have to go to work as well. It’s nice to be busy. It makes me keep out of my pointless thoughts such as this one I’m writing. I can’t wait for things to be better. Oh yeah, now I remember why I decided to write tonight in the first place. On my way home tonight, I remembered I was feeling very much at peace just months ago. I even wrote that feeling down here. Having that thought, I let out a sudden sigh and asked myself. “Where did that moment go?”. It was just here! Now it’s nowhere to be found LOL. GOD HELP ME. I actually feel a little bit demotivated in making videos. I just couldn’t bring myself to pretend that everything was alright when things are not. But I know I need to get myself together. Don’t be such a pussy is something I would tell a friend if this were this situation. So yes, no time to feel sulky. But then again, it’s all just talk. I really am sad and confused right now.

It’s Gonna Get Better, But It’s Taking Forever

I must have been born sad. I can’t keep up with happiness! That feeling when I’m happy all day and suddenly out of nowhere sadness would wash all over my soul and there’s no stopping it. Is this normal? Sometimes, I wonder if I’m the only person who can experience this. Maybe I just love being sad so much? Is that even possible? Now that I think about it, I love being confined to a small space. Not that it matters to my point, but maybe it has something to do with that. Hmmm, maybe I really was born like this. Is there any way out of this? Don’t get me wrong. I love myself. I feel so blessed. I feel so loved. But I don’t like being sad like this. Not when I don’t know the reason behind my sudden change of mood. I know being sad is sometimes needed in our lives. But in my case, is this really healthy? Will this ever go away? Will this ever hinder me from my true happiness? What is true happiness really? Sigh. Too many questions drowning my head right now.

“In the end, I’m going to be all right” is a thought that I always hold onto. Some might say I’m living my life to the fullest. I am, actually. And I couldn’t be more grateful to everyone, especially God. But I think I’m entitled to feel sad at times and vent at something like this. It’s not like I go around and announce, “Hey, I’m sad. May you be sad as well!” No, not at all. For what it’s worth, I think I give an opposite vibe to everyone else.

I missed writing. Glad to be able to talk to you guys again.

Hear The Great News!

Hello, everyone!

As you may know, I have been waiting for my visa decision to come. And it finally came last Thursday. I GOT APPROVAL OF MY STUDENT PERMIT IN CANADA! Wohoooo. The reason I didn’t post it as soon as I got the word is that I was too happy and emotional to do anything else besides BEING HAPPY lol. I literally shouted and cried when I heard the news. It was given to me by Ms. Karen, my visa coordinator.

The very next day I found out that I’m going to Canada, I bought a one-way ticket. I’ll be leaving next month. My summer term won’t start until the month of May, but I want to be able to adjust weeks before my class starts. Besides, I have to settle some things first like my social security number, bank account, and other important stuff.

I feel so blessed that this moment has finally come. I never actually thought about getting it in the first place, I guess, which I know is a total wrong mind set to have. But like I said, I had been down that road before of waiting and being rejected and I was just afraid of getting my hopes up ever again. But I got! I got it. I got it.
Thank you for those who never lose their faith in me. I love you all.

xoxo,

G

12.03.17

A quick Sunday realization…

Today I wrote on my notebook diary and it was mostly an update about what happened the last few days. I was quite surprised to have found myself saying positive thoughts of life despite the hardship that I am facing. I like the person I have become over the last months and I wouldn’t certainly be in a good place if it weren’t for the unfortunate and fortunate circumstances that contribute to where I am right now. So, I am mostly grateful for the bad things that had happened to me over the past months bc it made me stronger and realize my worth. I just feel different this time, I don’t quite know how to explain it. Just that I like this present me than the old version of me.

For my readers, have a blessed Sunday and be grateful for today.

Liebster Award πŸ†

I am so sorry this is a long overdue post!
Thank you again Tay for nominating me for the Liebster Award. I’m ecstatic to be nominated twice already. ☺️

The mechanics are different from my previous one but here’s how:


So here are the 11 questions for me:

1. What is your current favorite song?

I have a couple current fave songs but I’m choosing Middle by DJ Snake. πŸ™‚

2. Who is your role model, and why?

Long live my grandma! She’s 81 now and she’s currently residing in Canada living by herself ever since she moved abroad since 26 or something. She lives simple and travels–sums up my goals.

3. What are 3 things you’re most likely to carry in your bag?

β₯ Phone

β₯ Credit card holder

β₯ Swiss army knife (My true friends know about thisπŸ˜‚)

4. Favorite dessert?

How about no, tha

5. Best place you’ve ever been to & why?

I would say Chicago. I’m living the dream right now and even though I know it’s just for a year, I could say that I’ve already achieved a big part of my dream.

6. Whats your favorite movie ? Cliche but ‘A Walk To Remember’. πŸ˜‚

7. Your best memory from the past year?

Setting foot here in Chicago away from familiar people.

8. Where do you go when you want to be inspired?

Just somewhere quiet where I could be alone. Or just driving around while listening to chill music.

9. If you could do anything, absolutely anything, what would it be?

Travel. Travel. Travel. Nothing makes me more happy than that.

10. Where is your happy place?

My mom’s arms.

11. Last book you read?

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. Must read, btw!

About time for 11 random facts about me:

1️⃣ I used to not like pizza and burgers but ever since I came here in Chicago, there hasn’t been a week where I don’t eat one slice of pizza.

2️⃣ Kudo Shinichi is my soulmate.

3️⃣ I crossed my knees when I kneel down at church.

4️⃣ I prefer my coffee black and I love tea.

5️⃣ I let my baby sister call me ‘mommy’.

6️⃣ I am mesmerized by big butts. Lol.

7️⃣ Online shopping is my current addiction.

8️⃣ I love birthdays and surprises.

9️⃣ I have like 4 or 5 more blogs beside this πŸ˜‚

πŸ”Ÿ I do crochets.

1️⃣1️⃣ I used to care a lot about people but now idk meh

Bloggers Nominees:

πŸ’‹ Lyka

πŸ’‹ Sheena

πŸ’‹ Jamie

πŸ’‹ Joy

πŸ’‹Claire

πŸ’‹ Angelica

πŸ’‹ Joyce

11 questions for you ladies: (you can skip)

1. What is your biggest fear?

2. What is your greatest achievement so far?

3. Mommy or daddy’s girl?

4. Beer/Tequila/Whiskey or Wine?

5. Kinky or vanilla kinda girl?

6. Would you rather be in a beach or in a winter wonderland right now?

7. Do you have the one that got away?

8. What inspires you to write?

9. Best thing that you have right now?

10. Fill: I miss the/those time/times when _______.

11. Do you ever write something and then the next day you read it and you’re like eck this isn’t me and delete it afterwards? Lol

That’s it for me.

Your turn, babes! Have fun and just try to answer what comes first in your mind πŸ™‚ 

xo