Chicago Diaries

7 Things I Miss About Living in the U.S.

For those who doesn’t know, I was fortunate enough to live abroad for about a year and a month for my internship. My placement was in Chicago and I had the best time ever in my life. But now that I am back in the Philippines, I can’t help but miss a few things. Actually, it’s a lot of things but I don’t think I have enough time to enumerate it all. 😅 So here are some:

Freedom

I was all alone for a year. No parents. No relatives. Sure, I got to talk to them via Skype for almost everyday but with the different timezones and whatnot, it’s just hard to keep up so there was no one telling me what to do and what time I should be going home. It was freeing since I haven’t really experienced NOT living with my parents before my internship. But when I came back and had to meet my friends after a long time,  I was set with a curfew. I honestly can’t say I did not expect it coming but to be able to actually experienced it again was quite unbelievable. But really it’s not all about going out and stuff, it’s also about freedom to travel anywhere I wish and whomever I want. There’s also the freedom to make decisions on my own.

Screen Shot 2017-04-10 at 10.18.48 PM.png

Winter Season

True to its name as the Windy City, Chicago’s wind can be very harsh especially to those from tropical countries like me. I remember my first day of work, I thought I was all covered good for the fall weather and went straight to open the door ready to go to work thinking the cold couldn’t be that bad but as soon as I stepped out of the door, I could hear the loud swishing of the wind. I was so wrong. I never felt so exposed in my life! The wind blew past my whole body as if I was not wearing anything. I immediately went back inside and gather my gloves, scarf and extra jacket. It was probably because I was still adjusting to the harsh weather, but still…poor me. I had to adjust for months for the cold weather. And just when my body was already settling in, I’m back again in my country experiencing heat wave everyday. I realize that if it’s cold, I can at least shield myself by wearing coats and hats and still feel okay but there’s no going around if it’s hot. Unless of course, you install an internal fan in your shirt.

bca765424c7aa5dacd5a81469b49efcf.jpg

Dating

I never was the kind of person open in dating other people but that was before I went to Chicago. The first time I decided to meet up with someone, I bought this draft beer at 711 and jugged the whole thing thirty minutes before the meet up. Why the beer? I can never do meet ups with strangers let alone talk with them SOBER. Reckless? Maybe. So yeah, we met at the train station near my office and since we were going the same direction, we rode the train together. The guy was slurring all the time it was so hard for me to make out on what he’s saying. I swear half the time I just nod whenever I felt like he’s done talking. I had an OKAY time and never called the guy again. Nevertheless, it was a first and nice experience I had. Back here, I don’t even dare open Tinder. Yucky. In fact, it seems like my sexual hormones has been shut off the moment I set my foot back in this country. It’s probably because Filipinos don’t interest me that much. I prefer getting to know someone from other places foreign to me. It’s lovely and exciting, for me. 🙂

Stress-free Life

I don’t mean to sound unfair and ungrateful, but with all the pre-exisiting family dramas plus my personal struggles mixing up, they just don’t add up to my list of reasons-to-look-forward-to-when-I-come-back-home/reasons-to-stay. Nu-uh.

Screen Shot 2017-04-10 at 10.22.36 PM.png

The People

I’m not sure how to explain this without sounding bias. I’ve only been to other Asian countries but never outside the continent before and I can tell you people in the West are very genuine and nice, in general. Of course, I can’t say that much since I’ve only live there—particularly in Chicago—for a year.  🙄 But like honestly, people would open doors for you, even WOMEN would do that. Also, 7 out 10 people would randomly greet or smile at you. Back here if some stranger do that, one would be very skeptical and think maliciously already. It’s funny. And kind of unfair that I’m thinking so negatively for my people but it’s the naked truth.

No One Gives A Fuck

I may be the the type of girl who does not care of what she wears, most of the time. I do get conscious though, when there’s like an event or something—I think that’s only normal—but definitely besides those, I don’t care. As a foreigner, I was conscious at the way I dressed at first but actually you’d be surprise how people don’t give a fuck about what you’re wearing. They dress up however they want. A lot of times, I had encountered males and females having such out-of-this-planet type of colour in their hair and I just found fascinating that they weren’t conscious about it and wish I could have the courage to do something like that. But here in the Philippines, people are just naturally judgy especially women. How did I know that? Well, I may have been one of those women from time to time. Yeah, shame on me.

Screen Shot 2017-04-10 at 10.32.45 PM.png

My Dream Lives Up In There

Finally, this feels like the main reason why I miss living abroad. I feel like ever since I got home, my life has been on pause. Of course, I know it’s not entirely true because everyday I deal with stuff that makes me grow as a person. Things such as being considered grown up therefore having much responsibilities than before, the realization that I am not the same person as I was before I left and things like that. I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy here but I really see myself working my way up somewhere else. That I could accomplish something for myself. But you know what? I don’t dream of being a president of some company. I don’t dream of owning a castle. Although I know I wasn’t born to just pay bills and die, I only want enough for me and my family for the present and the future. And I wish I could say that I could get it all here where I grew up and I probably could easily get it, but still no. It’s already very much tangled up that I’d rather start from the bottom somewhere else far than have everything but happiness. After all, happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road. And my map says the start of that journey is not here.

Yes, those are some that made the list of why I miss living in abroad. I may sound a little into living away home but that does not mean I hate it here. I love it mainly because I have my family here. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the country. Just so happens that I fell deeply in love in other places. So yes, I’m a girl who has such a big lust to get away and see the world.

Photo credits: Pictures taken from https://www.instagram.com/chicagobucketlist/ and Pinterest.com

Standard
Everyday

SELF UPDATE 2.0.1.7

Hello!

Hmm..What’s a good topic to talk about today? How about the fact that we still don’t have electricity in our barangay for 18 days now since the typhoon? But who’s counting, right? Oh, right. I’M COUNTING THO! 😫

Well, to keep myself busy. I’ve enrolled myself to IELTS review class in my former school. So back to being student, I get up everyday and get my lazy bum to work its brain which has been difficult for me since I hate school ever since but I gotta do what I have to do so it’s been a pain the ass. Nevertheless, I’m glad I get to keep myself busy despite not having work and also learn more and improve my English LOLOLOLOL. I don’t think so hahaha blabla…Anyway, I’m just waiting around for this month to passed so that I can continue working on my application for himitsu. Hopefully, everything turns out okay for my upcoming exams. Although, I haven’t been reviewing that much, I hope I find the inspiration to work on it since the examination is just the around the corner. Regarding my plans to leave the Philippines again, there’s not much a solid plan for that yet it’s a work-in-progress atm but definitely will be back in USA or anywhere out of here again soon.

 

Standard
Dislike

After Grad

Everyone’s been busy. People are going out-of-town to escape this VERY MUCH familiar place. They’re getting jobs and living the dream WHILE I… I get to wake up early everyday and go to my dad’s office and do the same thing everyday. I know what you’re thinking that I’m being given extra credit for being the boss’s daughter well ha ha ha ha cause you are very much wrong about that. But whatever, I just wanna get the hell outta this place. I honestly want to go and leave everyone behind. I know how selfish this may sound but I want to spend some time alone and I don’t care how much they would miss me. I just want to be away. It’s like everyone keeps telling me to change my habits and all but I’m like how can I ever change if I’m breathing the same polluted air. I need to get out of this dirty bubble and find another healthy one. It’s going to be hard but I’m willing to take my chance. It’s just that no matter how hard I try at the end of the day, I’m always back to square one. Nothing good accomplished. So please just let me go. Let me live my life.

Go on tell me I’m always whining! 😒 This isn’t your blog so if you want your opinion expressed, go home and create your own journal. Whatever. Ugh. Me is pissed. I need to be early tomorrow! I blame tonight’s flashes of lightning. I seem to be imagining that they’d be no work for tomorrow. But who am I kidding, right? 😂

All right! Bye already! 😒

Standard
Dislike, Everyday, Friends

Guy Friend

Having a guy best friend could be frustrating sometimes. 😔

I’ve been friends with this guy since god-knows-when. It’s not the cheesy type of relationship that we have but just the kind of thing that he’s always there for me anytime vice versa.

I know as a guy he can be protective as hell but sometimes going overboard is a big hell no too! I mean I totally appreciate the protectiveness and all but not having a say on the matter is definitely upsetting on my part too.

He’s been cold to me since I told him something and he wasn’t so happy about my news. Athough I’ve reassured him that I’m okay and that I can handle it, he still won’t buy it. Huhu I understand where he’s getting his attitude ’cause he has every right to react in whatever manner he wants to but couldn’t he be happy for my choice? I mean even just this once can’t he at least say that he’s gonna be with me. It’s not even my second time ghaad he won’t even let me have my first.

He’s really important to me and he’s like the second thing closest to being my brother so it saddened me that things turned out this way. But I have to fight for what I want. I’m not gonna stop just becuase he tells me to. It’s not like it’s a matter of life and death. Duh!

What irks me tho, is the way he talks to me now. Like I’ve done the most awful thing in the world. And that’s not even the worst part, he’s making me choose! So I told him to back off and talk to me when he’s cool down already and that he please fix his attitude. Ugh.

God people on this earth think they could just order someone and tell them to do this and that. Spell F-U-C-K O-F-F dude. You’re not even my mom! Nigguh please.

Standard
Everyday

Thoughts of a Tight-Lipped Girl

I called you today hoping to hear your voice but you didn’t pick-up the phone… I broke down crying ’cause I couldn’t take it no more.

I think about of getting lost but I just can’t make myself do it…too many people are giving me directions.

I thought they were permanent…but nothing is and that’s just sad.

I think about time and changes and friends…they don’t stop. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.

I imagine the things we did, the memories we made…and wonder if it’ll be the last time I’ll think about you.

Where were you? You said priorities…but damn if it was true.

My thoughts are eating me…that sometimes I wish I would forever live in them instead of harsh reality.

Wrong things happen when you trust and worry about the wrong people…and guess what? I was wrong about you.

‘Cheer up’ everybody said…if only it was easy as 123.

You don’t say it instead you do it…but I don’t know I’ve fallen to your words regardless.

I can’t wait to be happy again…and be me again.

I miss the old me, my old life, my old habits…I just miss the innocent me.

Do ya feel lucky, punk?…Luck can be good or bad. So which is which for me?

Those words…wonder if we meant it

Such a great day

Standard
Experience

Crave Be Gone

It started last two weeks when I was having my finals week. I was very bored. I was laid then to my bed staring at the ceiling thinking what I could possibly do. And then my plea was instantly answered: I had this sudden yearning to talk to a stranger. So I went to the first thing that came to my mind: Omegle. Where else?

Omegle may be full of nasty strangers and surprisingly underage people but there are those that are kind and fun people. You just have to be keen. There are also those who start off as a sweet guy but end up using the words boobs, p*ssy, and other eck terms for that matter.

It could be hard sometimes. Finding a nice chat is rare in Omegle. So when I did find one, I was glad. I found a guy from my country so it was easier for me to communicate with him. Tho usually, if you’re in the same country the tendency is to disconnect because it’s like where’s the fun if you’re gonna end up talking to your fellow countrymen. Anyway, so I asked him if we should DC each other and he refused. So we talked and talked until I was talked into giving my FB account. It wasn’t scammed people, if that’s what you’re waiting. 🙂 Long story short, we talked almost every night. And it was fun and exciting like I was kind of looking forward for the day to end just so I could talk to him already. But like everything, the thrill wear off. We still chat each other, tho anyone could feel that we’re starting to get tired of it.

There was no blaming, it was bound to happen anyway. The important thing is that we enjoyed each other’s time and I got to have a friend for a while. And even though ending our little fling was a waste at some point, it was still thousand times better than staring at nowhere while lying in bed.

Standard