Tag: school

As Friends or As Lovers?

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In life, it’s seldom we found someone who gets us. Someone who we instantly love the moment we meet them. It’s such a rare occasion that when that certain person comes, we grab them and make sure they feel safe and loved. In most cases, people expect this to advance into some kind of romantic intimacy—which is ridiculous, really. On the other hand, it may lead to a long-life friendship. So let me throw a question, if you meet someone who really gets your vibe and interests in life, what kind of relationship would your inner-self choose to have with that someone—as a friend or a lover? It’s a tricky question, I know. The answer gets complicated the more you think about it. Ha.

My answer? I always go for friendship. But isn’t that always the case or mostly how it is for everyone? I mean, doesn’t a relationship begins at something before being lovers? And there’s nothing quite like how we, Millennials, deal with being in a ‘relationship’. There are even the so-called stages of relationship amongst 20-somethings that start out as being friends > talking stage > friends with benefits > hooking up > dating > exclusivity/to being lover. It’s one hella ride  for young people to be in love, nowadays. No wonder Millennials are tagged to be the worst generation and no doubt about how older generations are laughing at us right now.

Having a fair share of my being part of the Millennial generation, I’ve experienced this roller coaster ride of being in a relationship myself. The one thing I can say is it’s just not for me. I might have done it wrong but I’ve had enough for now. I’ll choose friendship over love not because it will be the safe choice but because I’ve been there done thatrelationship thing and now I know better than to risk any good friendship with love. I’m not saying I’m all closed door for finding love but it’s not something that I am expecting to come in my life anytime soon. Setting my mind to that note, it keeps me from jumping to conclusions and expecting to find love in every guy that I meet. At the same time, without the expectations of any kind, it lets me create a deeper connection with someone I truly find interesting. It’s like I don’t have to worry about being the perfect girl because who’s judging, right? 🙂 No one but a good friend of mine.

Lovers just take it to different level, you know? Sure, there’s no doubt about how colorful our lives when they are there. No one can actually make us feel the same way that they do to us. It’s magical and how we wish it would never end. But have you had any relationship with someone that it ended badly, but then you realize you were so good together as friends than lovers, that you wish you could turn back time and just be friends instead? It’s a shame, isn’t it? Makes you regret just enough to wish for things to go back to the way you were as friends. That’s why I’ll always choose friendship over love.

Some people ask me what if you could have found your true happiness with that someone, but you settled as friends so you ended up throwing away the one shot deal? Honestly, I’m not worried. I’ve never been worried about missing my chances at being happy with someone because I know it’s not something that I could never find in myself. I produce my own sunshine and happiness. We all do! It’s on me to share it to other people. I never needed someone to make me feel whole because I am complete whether someone is holding my hand or not.

So what I need is a friend who knows me well, who’ll understand my tantrums and deal with it. Someone I can laugh with and share my stories with. A friend who I can talk whatever with no boundaries whatsoever. A friend who can be my plus one in parties and get drunk with. One who’ll ask me to a slow dance even with a pop music playing. A guy my parents can be comfortable with. Just someone who gets me. I have always believed that two opposite genders can have a platonic relationship. Being anything more than friends is just another label. What matters is the strong foundation and relationship I have with that person. If it turns out that my best friend is the one, wouldn’t that be great?! But if not, a best friend for life is not a loss love at all.

Choose carefully. And learn to love yourself.

xoxo,

G

Subscribe on my YouTube Channel1

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100 SUBSCRIBERS IN YOUTUBE?! You guys are the best!!!!!

Last 4 months, I began being active in the YouTube community wherein I constantly post—is posting two videos in four months considered constant?—and actively comment on videos to sub on my channel haha. It gives me great joy to share my videos on the internet. Of course, there’s the hope of getting known duh, but nope it’s not my first priority. These past months, I have learned to love YouTube. I have been watching nonstop YouTube videos about almost anything but mostly about travel vlogs and tutorials on cinematic videos. I have also learned more stuff about editing and using transitions to enhance and to make sick edits lol oh yeah. I can’t explain how much excitement I feel when I edit or when I take videos of myself and other people. Even my friends now call me “vlogger”, I don’t exactly feel shy when I vlog around but I’m not totally confident yet. I haven’t even got past the point of being able to talk in front of the camera with my friends around. I mean I hate speaking in front of people I have the phobia and all but I just love the concept of vlogging that it makes it want to overcome that fear. Ever since I was kid, I have been recording through my phone and camera. I remember using Windows Movie Maker to compose a compilation of my photos and make it into a video with background music.

Anyway, I am planning to upload videos for as long as it gives me happiness. It’s actually quite fun and rewarding to be able to receive comments and love from people you don’t know! I feel like this is my one of my true hobbies in life. And I think I’m going to be doing this for a long time.

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL!!!! IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND MY DREAMS. I subscribe back, you guys! I’m actually looking to do a collab. Hmu if you want! 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCouX1vaDY-aqCP3Jw9EzCdw

Love,

G

7 Things I Miss About Living in the U.S.

For those who doesn’t know, I was fortunate enough to live abroad for about a year and a month for my internship. My placement was in Chicago and I had the best time ever in my life. But now that I am back in the Philippines, I can’t help but miss a few things. Actually, it’s a lot of things but I don’t think I have enough time to enumerate it all. 😅 So here are some:

Freedom

I was all alone for a year. No parents. No relatives. Sure, I got to talk to them via Skype for almost everyday but with the different timezones and whatnot, it’s just hard to keep up so there was no one telling me what to do and what time I should be going home. It was freeing since I haven’t really experienced NOT living with my parents before my internship. But when I came back and had to meet my friends after a long time,  I was set with a curfew. I honestly can’t say I did not expect it coming but to be able to actually experienced it again was quite unbelievable. But really it’s not all about going out and stuff, it’s also about freedom to travel anywhere I wish and whomever I want. There’s also the freedom to make decisions on my own.

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Winter Season

True to its name as the Windy City, Chicago’s wind can be very harsh especially to those from tropical countries like me. I remember my first day of work, I thought I was all covered good for the fall weather and went straight to open the door ready to go to work thinking the cold couldn’t be that bad but as soon as I stepped out of the door, I could hear the loud swishing of the wind. I was so wrong. I never felt so exposed in my life! The wind blew past my whole body as if I was not wearing anything. I immediately went back inside and gather my gloves, scarf and extra jacket. It was probably because I was still adjusting to the harsh weather, but still…poor me. I had to adjust for months for the cold weather. And just when my body was already settling in, I’m back again in my country experiencing heat wave everyday. I realize that if it’s cold, I can at least shield myself by wearing coats and hats and still feel okay but there’s no going around if it’s hot. Unless of course, you install an internal fan in your shirt.

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Dating

I never was the kind of person open in dating other people but that was before I went to Chicago. The first time I decided to meet up with someone, I bought this draft beer at 711 and jugged the whole thing thirty minutes before the meet up. Why the beer? I can never do meet ups with strangers let alone talk with them SOBER. Reckless? Maybe. So yeah, we met at the train station near my office and since we were going the same direction, we rode the train together. The guy was slurring all the time it was so hard for me to make out on what he’s saying. I swear half the time I just nod whenever I felt like he’s done talking. I had an OKAY time and never called the guy again. Nevertheless, it was a first and nice experience I had. Back here, I don’t even dare open Tinder. Yucky. In fact, it seems like my sexual hormones has been shut off the moment I set my foot back in this country. It’s probably because Filipinos don’t interest me that much. I prefer getting to know someone from other places foreign to me. It’s lovely and exciting, for me. 🙂

Stress-free Life

I don’t mean to sound unfair and ungrateful, but with all the pre-exisiting family dramas plus my personal struggles mixing up, they just don’t add up to my list of reasons-to-look-forward-to-when-I-come-back-home/reasons-to-stay. Nu-uh.

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The People

I’m not sure how to explain this without sounding bias. I’ve only been to other Asian countries but never outside the continent before and I can tell you people in the West are very genuine and nice, in general. Of course, I can’t say that much since I’ve only live there—particularly in Chicago—for a year.  🙄 But like honestly, people would open doors for you, even WOMEN would do that. Also, 7 out 10 people would randomly greet or smile at you. Back here if some stranger do that, one would be very skeptical and think maliciously already. It’s funny. And kind of unfair that I’m thinking so negatively for my people but it’s the naked truth.

No One Gives A Fuck

I may be the the type of girl who does not care of what she wears, most of the time. I do get conscious though, when there’s like an event or something—I think that’s only normal—but definitely besides those, I don’t care. As a foreigner, I was conscious at the way I dressed at first but actually you’d be surprise how people don’t give a fuck about what you’re wearing. They dress up however they want. A lot of times, I had encountered males and females having such out-of-this-planet type of colour in their hair and I just found fascinating that they weren’t conscious about it and wish I could have the courage to do something like that. But here in the Philippines, people are just naturally judgy especially women. How did I know that? Well, I may have been one of those women from time to time. Yeah, shame on me.

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My Dream Lives Up In There

Finally, this feels like the main reason why I miss living abroad. I feel like ever since I got home, my life has been on pause. Of course, I know it’s not entirely true because everyday I deal with stuff that makes me grow as a person. Things such as being considered grown up therefore having much responsibilities than before, the realization that I am not the same person as I was before I left and things like that. I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy here but I really see myself working my way up somewhere else. That I could accomplish something for myself. But you know what? I don’t dream of being a president of some company. I don’t dream of owning a castle. Although I know I wasn’t born to just pay bills and die, I only want enough for me and my family for the present and the future. And I wish I could say that I could get it all here where I grew up and I probably could easily get it, but still no. It’s already very much tangled up that I’d rather start from the bottom somewhere else far than have everything but happiness. After all, happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road. And my map says the start of that journey is not here.

Yes, those are some that made the list of why I miss living in abroad. I may sound a little into living away home but that does not mean I hate it here. I love it mainly because I have my family here. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the country. Just so happens that I fell deeply in love in other places. So yes, I’m a girl who has such a big lust to get away and see the world.

Photo credits: Pictures taken from https://www.instagram.com/chicagobucketlist/ and Pinterest.com

Loud Mind of Mine

My cute ass was dragged all weekday for IELTS review last week, and as if that weren’t enough, I had to speak in front of everyone every damn day. It was the speaking module week, that’s why. I just got so nervous without any warning and I usually can’t speak straight when I’m scared! I kept trying to shake off the uneasiness by thinking about funny or good memories but it was no help. Really, the more I tried the more it worsened.

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Just earlier, I asked a friend a question that resulted to a misunderstanding between us. What happened was that friend replied something stupid to my question making me feel like a fool. And now I’m hurt that’s why, I’m drawing away my attention to anything that won’t trigger my mind to remember the incident.

So today I find myself asking what is a good distraction from things I don’t want to think?

After a thought…

All I can think about is I’m crazy to assume that any diversion would work. I realize I probably just have to face it head-on and give myself a break. Well, how about just speaking freely not caring about possible mistakes or just letting myself stutter until I can finally fucking deliver it clearly? Like why worry about that friend when I know it wouldn’t be a freakin’ lost if I lose that one person? I mean just do your thing and stop worrying, self.

It makes sense, right? I can’t worry about everything all at once. There’s just so much to do and only hours in a day. Just one fucking thing at a time. If certain fate is meant to be yours, then what’s the rush? I know it is easier to say and realize all of these things than actually doing and applying it in life. But I think when you know what’s going on, you’ll actually find a way to make it right—well, at least you’ve made you’re first step to the lifeline.

SELF UPDATE 2.0.1.7

Hello!

Hmm..What’s a good topic to talk about today? How about the fact that we still don’t have electricity in our barangay for 18 days now since the typhoon? But who’s counting, right? Oh, right. I’M COUNTING THO! 😫

Well, to keep myself busy. I’ve enrolled myself to IELTS review class in my former school. So back to being student, I get up everyday and get my lazy bum to work its brain which has been difficult for me since I hate school ever since but I gotta do what I have to do so it’s been a pain the ass. Nevertheless, I’m glad I get to keep myself busy despite not having work and also learn more and improve my English LOLOLOLOL. I don’t think so hahaha blabla…Anyway, I’m just waiting around for this month to passed so that I can continue working on my application for himitsu. Hopefully, everything turns out okay for my upcoming exams. Although, I haven’t been reviewing that much, I hope I find the inspiration to work on it since the examination is just the around the corner. Regarding my plans to leave the Philippines again, there’s not much a solid plan for that yet it’s a work-in-progress atm but definitely will be back in USA or anywhere out of here again soon.

 

Everyday Routine

If you must know my employment status, I am throwing it right here. I’m jobless... Not being proud about it or whatever, just tryna start a post. 😫✌🏼

It’s only been two weeks so there’s not much grand update for me. So as I’ve already mentioned in my previous post, I am my baby sister’s personal driver. Every morning I drop her off school and then run some personal errands before picking her up. Then we go straight to my dad’s house and have lunch with him and since Shobe has morning classes only, we spend some time watching movies and sleep after lunch. It would then be time to pick up my brother from school at 5:30pm and the three of us would go home.

Let’s say I don’t do all of those, that would only mean I’d be at Ocampo helping my mom’s business which means I would be the one opening and closing the store while my mom would stay here in Naga and have her day off. That being said, mom would be doing all those stuff mentioned above. Well, except of course, having lunch with dad!

So there you go, pretty much my schedule everyday! I’m not sure of working yet, I’m still trying to figure out things. 💩

Just Droppin By!

Hello everyone! How’s life? Must be crazy, huh. Anyway, you guys must be lonely without me spewing words here and there! 😁 I know I’ve been gone far too long than necessary. But hey, I’m living a life!

So about me…Some quick update with my life. A month before my graduation and hopefully I’ll be able to join this coming March. A week before my Finals and tada I’m done with studying. Basically, my life is hell at the moment and I’m close to lose my shit. I am under pressure with my acads with all the requirements and stuff to finish before due. I’m just holding to that thought ‘konting kembot nalang’ and it will all be over. 😌 Hopefully, I get to join grad this March or else I don’t know, I might seriously breakdown if I don’t make it. Will update soon! Promise! 😘

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Lovin’ every minute ’cause you make me feel so alive 🎶

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Having a night class every day could be ermm…tiring. I mean waiting up for your next class alone for one and a half hour is just demanding. Waiting could also be a tiring job just so you know. I’m not complaining tho just saying. 😉 Times like these I’m just having a ‘me’ moment. I can’t say my ‘me’ moment is a good thing. Not sure what to make of my never ending thoughts. 💊

Uhuh hunney 😉 🎶

Thank God for music!

I know you’re tired of loving with nobody to love 🎶

😂😂😂

Sorry for those intermissions. Forgive me but I can only listen to my musics at my current situation! 😩😅 I’m still waiting for Maria to come to school then I’d have someone to talk to. Yay 😅

I hate evenings now! Makes me think of sad things. I don’t know(there goes my idk line again😒) but I find myself always on the verge of breaking down nowadays. Like let me hear a Lana Del Rey’s song and I’ll loose it in no time! That’s why as much as possible I don’t stay up late now, my mind wanders to such extent that I can’t control in anymore. Then when I wake up, yay I survived another day now another day to face. It may sound like a drag to me and yes it kinda is but I try my very best not to make it that way. I mean every day is a blessing!

Now where is Maria? Ugh. Tagal ni teh!

Nights like these you will never be alone 🎶

The struggle is real! 😖 Shucks.

Let me live no more please kung ganito rin naman. 😰

I cannot afford to be distracted again. Damn it me!

Focus please.

😄😃😀😊☺️😉😜😝😛😄😃😀😊☺️😉😜😝😛😄😃😀😊☺️😉😜😝😛😄😃😀😊☺️😉😜😝😛😄😃😀

This too shall pass. Hopefully. 😔

04.21.2014

Me so tired.

I went for a jog this morning after for what feels like a hundred days finally I did it again. Anyway, I woke up really early! And end up being scammed by my friend. Good thing, I still have another company. Damn him.

I went for 5 rounds in Basilica Minore with Nard. But I think he went for 6th. Glad to see around young people jogging ‘coz before majority of the joggers were elders due to obvious reason, health. But now, more than half are youth and the rest are elders. 😀

Since it’s summer and I’m currently living in a tropical country which only has two season; summer and rainy. Sunny sunny sunny… I can feel it poking past through my shirt as early as 8am! Whyyyy must you be up so early in the morning! You’re giving us all headaches and frowns to our faces.

Today is only Monday and I still have four more days to go to survive this week.

Oooooh. I forgot! A funny thing happened today, like seriously! So maybe not, but come on We had a quiz at one of my marketing subject and there was this question wherein the answer was supposedly ‘BABY BOOMER’ but instead of that my girl seatmate answered ‘BABY BONER’ (she copied and mistook it as boner). Hilarious thing, not to mention the checker of her paper was a boy and when he saw it he let loose a loud guffaw. Maybe this day is not too bad after all. 😀

T.O.D.A.Y

What was I thinking?! Saturday is always a non-uniform day. Instead, went to school today wearing uniform.

Damn. I was walking my way confidently until my eyes swept to the groups of student crossing my path and I was like ‘Uhuh. They are wearing civilian. What’s up with them?’ and clueless as I was, just marched past them. Just when the weird vibes was getting off me and I’m about to climb the stairs, I saw my two friends and surprisingly they were also wearing civilian. And that’s the only time I realized that I was the weird one. But I thought today was Friday! Come on!

I was dumbfounded and I had no choice but to go on with my life and trudged towards my classroom. Good thing tho, there’s my father. I let him get my pants, a t-shirt and sandals. 😉

Dang! After that, my embarrassing moment was done. Poof. 🙂 Next thing I knew, I was in a restaurant with my friends eating sushi. Again. Anyway, god help me my friends were on chatting mode again! All of them were either Omegle-ing or Chatous-ing. What a word. Pfft. 🙂 Funny thing happened, my best friend asked for a pic to the guy he’s been chatting with and she received a picture of the guy’s Ding Dong. Eck. Some horny sonofawhore. My bestie swore never to use Chatous again. Oh promises, promises. 😉

Went home with a smile on my face but ended up scowling because of my brother. He spilled my secret to dad. Traitor. Now I’m not talking to him.

One helluva day. Hope y’all have had good day too.

What Happened This Morning

Good morning!

I excitedly woke up this morning knowing that today is my last class day of the week and I only have a one-hour class.

I wore my usual blue jeans, tee shirt and black converse. After I did a quick fix at my hair, I called my dad to drive me to school.
When I arrived at school, I half jump and half walk my way up to my 2nd floor classroom. While walking up stairs, I spotted a student wearing uniform and my first thought was ‘Seriously? She’s in her uniform’. But nevertheless my mind did a fast counting monday…tuesday…wednesday…thursday…friday…Sat– and it struck me. Today is friday, and I should be in my uniform damn it!

Surely when I entered the  classroom, my classmates were all in their uniform. Everybody was like asking why was I in my civilian attire and I had the same answer to them ‘I thought it was Saturday!’ -_- nosy!

=)) ♪♪ What a woderful day! ♪ ♪

P.S.
I don’t know why the guard didn’t notice my attire, but it was for good.