Experience, Friends, Happy Thoughts

Before And After Me

I used to love going out like A LOT.  And by that I meant drinking til I’m passed out drunk, going home past 12am, doing hella crazy stuff or YOLO for short. People who know me back in college can easily pinpoint me as one of those gals who is down for anything crazy and illegal. I don’t do drugs or anything major like that but more subtle things like drunk driving or anything alcohol-involved. I wasn’t always like that though…

Back before I became so open-minded and liberal-kinda, I was this geek girl who was a KPOP, JPOP, Kdrama, Jdrama, anything international-language-that-you-can’t-even-pronounce drama fan. I was this student who participated in Sudoko challenges in school. I even joined the Rubik’s cube challenge back in college with no friends to support me because my interests were too odd for them. I lost in round one though, but it didn’t matter because I felt fulfilled trying my best. I WAS THAT SIMPLE GIRL. Literally. I remember in my first year of college, I only had four or five t-shirts and two pairs of pants to wear at school. Everything I had was oversized shirts except for this one blue- striped blouse that I bought before school started. I was wearing it every week it became impossible for every single one of my block mates to have missed. How’d I know? A few years later, one of them confessed she could still draw that blouse by heart. See? I was this home-to-school school-to-home girl. But then life got in the way and decided to revamped my life. I started hanging out after class more. I learned how to wear skinny jeans. I got conscious and decided that three cups of rice per meal was more than a mortal sin. Although, I allowed it on my menstrual periods because damn girl give me some slack! Thinking about it now, I did became another person. I didn’t realize it back then because I was too preoccupied with the changes happening to me. My mom got pretty upset of what was happening and then the confused little girl inside me threw a tantrum and did bad things. You know, usual stories about good girl gone bad.

When it became too much, I begged my mom to get me out of the country. I was then in the U.S. for a year. Got what I finally wanted and learned to love myself again. I found myself beginning to return to who I was before. Even though, I couldn’t be the perfect replica of my older version I can say I have improved a lot for the better. Despite all of the hardship, I am very thankful for the lessons and experiences. I wouldn’t be me now if it weren’t for those.

But then, I came home late last year and got pretty depressed for a couple of months. Maybe because reality hit me again. My indecisive self could not keep up with things. Nowadays, I don’t hang out with my friends because I feel like I’m lagging behind them. I feel we have this friendship gap probably because I was absent for a year or I’m not in the same stage as them anymore. Also, the usual family dramas keeps on hunting me everyday. It’s sad and it did get into me. I almost fell into my bad habits. Almost. Instead, I chose the path that I didn’t choose before. I dealt it with positivity. I very much thank God because every single time that I almost did something bad, something will happen that won’t made me do it. It wasn’t just once but many times. It’s as if a sign from the universe not to give in to temptations. And I’m very thankful for that. Thankful for the never ending support and guidance from my family and God.

Now, I feel better than I have felt in years. Not just temporary happiness that you feel when you bought a new toy and the next day you’re like meh but that peace you know is lingering inside you no matter what stroke of bad luck you may encounter. I know this may not last. Nothing is. But for now, I am choosing to embrace this and be better as long as I can. Who knows? I may be eating my words in a few months but for now I am just really happy I got to have the chance to feel light and at peace again.

Xoxo,

G

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Everyday

SELF UPDATE 2.0.1.7

Hello!

Hmm..What’s a good topic to talk about today? How about the fact that we still don’t have electricity in our barangay for 18 days now since the typhoon? But who’s counting, right? Oh, right. I’M COUNTING THO! 😫

Well, to keep myself busy. I’ve enrolled myself to IELTS review class in my former school. So back to being student, I get up everyday and get my lazy bum to work its brain which has been difficult for me since I hate school ever since but I gotta do what I have to do so it’s been a pain the ass. Nevertheless, I’m glad I get to keep myself busy despite not having work and also learn more and improve my English LOLOLOLOL. I don’t think so hahaha blabla…Anyway, I’m just waiting around for this month to passed so that I can continue working on my application for himitsu. Hopefully, everything turns out okay for my upcoming exams. Although, I haven’t been reviewing that much, I hope I find the inspiration to work on it since the examination is just the around the corner. Regarding my plans to leave the Philippines again, there’s not much a solid plan for that yet it’s a work-in-progress atm but definitely will be back in USA or anywhere out of here again soon.

 

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College, Everyday

Just Got Home

Hello! I’m starting to get really worried about my life here. I can’t seem to have a proper sleep every night. And all throughout the day, I resembled like a living zombie. Even now, as I’m typing this my eyes are starting to droop downwards and the weariness is now creeping inside me.  But I have to finish some things and yeah okay you may be wondering why I’m still here wasting my time instead of doing it na. I just get that feeling sometimes, you know, it makes me feel better after I’ve let my thoughts out. Even if it’s just a little comfort. 😉 So anyway, today I had my three exams seven more to go. Hell yeah! Tomorrow another one and another for the next couple of days, I’ll be out of everyone’s way and be busy with requirements and stuff. I’m just hoping for everyone to pass this semester and be over with this. 

My eyeeees are starting to get really really…sorry cant think of anythingxto say dnow. Night*YAAAAAWN* that was the biggest yawn of my life. 

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College

Just Droppin By!

Hello everyone! How’s life? Must be crazy, huh. Anyway, you guys must be lonely without me spewing words here and there! 😁 I know I’ve been gone far too long than necessary. But hey, I’m living a life!

So about me…Some quick update with my life. A month before my graduation and hopefully I’ll be able to join this coming March. A week before my Finals and tada I’m done with studying. Basically, my life is hell at the moment and I’m close to lose my shit. I am under pressure with my acads with all the requirements and stuff to finish before due. I’m just holding to that thought ‘konting kembot nalang’ and it will all be over. 😌 Hopefully, I get to join grad this March or else I don’t know, I might seriously breakdown if I don’t make it. Will update soon! Promise! 😘

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Dislike, Everyday, Experience, Family

✖️✖️✖️

Ohmygosh! I can’t believe this day! Couldn’t I be more miserable?!

• Left my school ID and CALCULATOR
Had to passed the other gate because I left my ID. Damn it why did change my school bag again for the nth time and now look what happened! Not to mention I was getting late for my scheduled exam. Once I enter the premises, I was stopped by two guards and asked for my concern. Told them that I lost my ID. 😉 Take note that I’ve done this many times so at that point I was just like okay I’ve got this. But then when the guards asked for my permit that’s when I realized I left it with my calculator! My permit was slipped inside my calcu so that means no calculator for my major exam for this day. What a luck! I must have been dozing off when God showered his share of luck cause what happened next was beyond my imagination! I have never been questioned by any student official not to mention OSA! 😱 To my dismay, the guards call for the office of students affair and they let them handle my case. I got to talk to an officer and I was asked for my student information, reason why I left my ID blah blah shit. And I can’t believe the lady I talked to, she was suspicious ’cause I told her I have a subject like this and that today was my scheduled exam for it and she went blabbering that that particular subject was a Monday subject so why would I take the exam on a Thursday. AND I WAS LIKE AREN’T YOU AWARE OF THE DEPARTMENTAL EXAM YOU FUCKIN’ IDIOT YOU’RE A FREAKIN OFFICIAL WHY ARE YOU MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF. But then again, angelic as I am, explained that today was the scheduled departmental exam and then she was hesitant for a moment like she didn’t believe a word I said. That bitch! Finally she told me that I have to visit the office to ‘confirmed’ my lost ID. Fuck you. I ain’t going nowhere near that office I was fuckin’ late in my exam so I hurriedly went straight for my classroom and hooray I got in just in time. The only problem was I had no calculator and almost half of the question given was all computations🔫. Retake next sem = summer grad. 🔫✖️1⃣0⃣0⃣

• Jeep Incident + Traffic
Okay, so you probably think I should have gone early to avoid traffic, right? Am I right?! I knew it that was what you were thinking. Anyway, *hands up* it’s not a bit of my fault! The jeep suddenly just jerked forward and I mean HARD! And then all hell broke loose. Next thing I knew, people were pushing the vehicle until the jeep jerks forward again. And I mean this time a STRONG kind of jerking! Good thing my reflexes are fast. 🙊 Kidding, but I survived! That counts.

•UTI
Need I say more 😂

•On my way home
Just when I thought my night was in peace, I tripped on my way home. Ouch! That sensitive part of the leg again!!! 😡 And hooray I was really trying to hold my patience cause in just a few minutes I’d be home but then! I don’t know what’s with this day… The world seems to be conspiring against me. The. Guy. I’ve. Been. Avoiding…was in the same ride with me. I couldn’t hold to just ignore him ’cause he’d be suspicious so I said hi first and immediately put my earphones back before he could start to chitchat me. The ride couldn’t get any faster! It was really awkward and much to my stupidity, I took off the ride and noticed the place was all too unfamiliar. Figures I took off to the wrong street. Smartass.

To my surprise, my favorite uncle in the whoooole universe dropped by with her wife and cute little baby. Also, tonight’s dinner was awesome! None other than my favorite Adobo! 😀 I guess this day isn’t bad after all. At the end of the day, I got to see my adorbable sister, my caring lola and my mom. I’m grateful enough not to mind those small matters! And hey, I only got one last exam for this semester then I’m done! 😌 Sem break here I come! 😔 Ughh… Why does my heart all of a sudden feel weird. Guess it’s gonna miss someone over the vacation. 💁 Let’s not fret about it!

😘😘😘😘

slowly drifting wave after wave

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