A P R I L

Hello.

Intoxicated as fuck. Okay, not that much. It’s been a crazy month or has it been almost two months now? The last time I uploaded a YT video was probably around February. People are starting to message, “When are you gonna upload your next video?” “Hey, been waiting for your video for weeks now.” Thank you for your messages. But as much as I want to squeeze editing into my schedule right now, I just can’t. It’s not that simple lol. Not for me, it isn’t. I don’t just edit for the sake of making a video ya know. I edit when I feel like it. I edit depending on my mood. That way, I’m able to make it memorable for me. I want to be able to make videos that I would want to watch a thousand times and not get tired of it.

But anyway, I wanted to write something purposeful or deeper. I just can’t get to that tone yet, so I’m babbling nonsense here. It’s been months since I last wrote, but believe me when I say there’s a bunch of times I just feel like I wanna write something but then the next second the inspiration is gone as fast as it came. Ugh, sorry about that.

Out of topic here—something that I keep on doing—but being an international student is no joke. Sure the idea of studying abroad seems grand and all, but I don’t know. Most of the times, I find myself asking myself, am I on the right track? I guess I am. But it’s easy to get lost in track when I’m all stressed and missing my family. I tend to forget why I sacrificed so much to be here. But thank goodness for the people around me, for reminding me why I’m here and for listening to my rants about school stuff and work.

I am grateful. Always. But I’m entitled to feel tired and sad. That is something you’ll always read here on my blog. That it’s okay to feel sad and cry because it is. At the end of the day, we’re all just human being who feel tired and vulnerable. But the important thing is that after I write this, I’ll feel a whole lot better and get back on track.