Tag: diary

Moments Like These

Before when things were a lot easier to handle, I never understand what depression was all about. I guess you will never understand until it happens to you.

Unlike then, when somehow there was something that could compensate my sadness, I know I would be okay eventually.

But not now when troubles are ten times complicated than before. When even grand comfort could not budge a bit of my misery.

What happened?

As I have told earlier, I never understand depression. But there really came a time when I felt it in me and I swear I’ve never been lonely in my life. I remember the first time depression took over me. It was that super random moment wherein I felt that overwhelming sense of sadness.

What I did then, was that I didn’t go straight home but instead I went to this milk tea place(luckily there was no one else) and spent the rest of my allowable time before curfew thinking about things. I went home after that feeling not even the slightest okay.

And now…

I think I’m having one of these moments again. My hands are trembling as I type for no reason. My heart is pounding I think I might be actually hearing it now. I HAD to leave the house and go somewhere else. So now I’m at SM and I’m keeping myself busy as much as possible.

I haven’t discussed this matter to my mom and I don’t think I need to and I’m hoping she wouldn’t know.

It’s late now. I think I have to go back and act that everything’s alright.

Wait I’m hungry. To eat or not to eat? Damn this.

04.21.2014

Me so tired.

I went for a jog this morning after for what feels like a hundred days finally I did it again. Anyway, I woke up really early! And end up being scammed by my friend. Good thing, I still have another company. Damn him.

I went for 5 rounds in Basilica Minore with Nard. But I think he went for 6th. Glad to see around young people jogging ‘coz before majority of the joggers were elders due to obvious reason, health. But now, more than half are youth and the rest are elders. 😀

Since it’s summer and I’m currently living in a tropical country which only has two season; summer and rainy. Sunny sunny sunny… I can feel it poking past through my shirt as early as 8am! Whyyyy must you be up so early in the morning! You’re giving us all headaches and frowns to our faces.

Today is only Monday and I still have four more days to go to survive this week.

Oooooh. I forgot! A funny thing happened today, like seriously! So maybe not, but come on We had a quiz at one of my marketing subject and there was this question wherein the answer was supposedly ‘BABY BOOMER’ but instead of that my girl seatmate answered ‘BABY BONER’ (she copied and mistook it as boner). Hilarious thing, not to mention the checker of her paper was a boy and when he saw it he let loose a loud guffaw. Maybe this day is not too bad after all. 😀

Good Morning

Why hello!! It’s great to be up this early in the morning! 4am! NO IT’S NOT GREAT AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT!

I supposed to tell you the reason to my being of super early bird this morning. Nard invited me to jog this morning and I said okay. I invited my other friend who by the way lives near my house. He said yes. And I proposed we go early to our jog place earlier than Nard ‘coz he lives far and he still needs to travel and all. So he agreed. And nowwww, I called him and he bailed out! That freaking don’t make me say it… Anyway, I got up too early for nothing and now I’m waiting for Nard to come by in my house and off we go jogging. Dayum!!

Rewind rewind! I wanna go back to sleeeeeeeep. Zzzzzzz but I can’t. I can’t just drift off to sleep and leave Nard behind now.

I Miss My Home

I want to go home already. Been staying here in Manila for two days. 😦

I’m starting to get depressed and my mood isn’t improving either. And the thought of resuming summer class in two days isn’t helping at all.

I miss my messy room. 😥

I missed the Alay Lakad yesterday.

I missed a lot.

Anyway, I’m here for a reason. I’m visiting my grandparents because of their health conditions. I know it’s important more than anything but I just can’t help but to feel down.

04.11.2014

April 11,2014
Friday

• Finished my first class a little early so I…
• Went to church. Spent almost an hour there waiting for my next class.
• Had activities in Oral Communication. We recited in front of the class by group and individual.
• Forgot to submit my quiz to our beadle. I was too excited at the thought of not having a class on my last subject and went home as fast as I can. Pretty stupid of me, huh.
• Workout tho…
• Ice cream after 🙂
• Got a scornful remark. Wth

Story of A Lonesome But Awesome Girl

I’m all alone right now waiting for my next class. Damn. Where are my friends when I need them? 🙂 Anyway, I had no choice but to settle in a corner while people passed by in front of me and sometimes doing surreptitious glance in my direction. Good thing I always bring with me my diary. So I casually open my diary and took notes of my current situation but then to my dismay, a group of people stopped in front of me! I got embarrased so I quickly closed my diary.

So here I am, earphones plugged listening to R&B songs. Currently playing Money Trees by Kendrick Lamar. Chillin’ while blogging , Ya Bish 😀

It go Halle Berry. Or Halleluiah. :))) Can’t help but to sing with this upbeat song.

Hit the street then we break the code, no way!

The song just ended. 😦

Sunset by Kid Ink is now playing. 😀 I gotta say thank you again for my friend for giving these awesome life savers.

I know you’re so interested in my life right now. But like every other stories, the story has to end somehow. So now, I gotta go run to my class and live my life and learn and talk and operate and live and learn and whaaat ’cause that’s just how awesome people like me live, ya bish. 😀

04.10.2014

Waiting for my dad to pick me up for school. 😀 Yesterday was a holiday so you know the feeling of coming back to school. And not to mention that it’s a summer class and that it’s supposed to be a summer vacation. But I’m not gonna whine much about this ’cause hopefully this is gonna be my last summer class for college before I graduate.

~ G

Deal Breaker

What is one thing that you cannot overlook to a person or to a guy in particular? Because there could just be one quality in a person that could totally put off your interest in them. Like for example, guys with big egos is a big big no for me.
Tho what I’m gonna share is nothing in reference with Dating Deal Breakers or something romantic, it’s just one of the things I hate about in a guy.

Why am I suddenly talking about deal breakers? 🙂 ‘Cause I just had an encounter with one of my guy friend and he’s totally being above the clouds. He thinks that he’s too awesome that all of us would bow down to him. Like hell we would. Just because I’m being nice doesn’t mean I tolerate his cockiness. 🙂 I’m just being nice, that’s all. Tho I’m not sure if he knows what’s going on behind the scenes. My friends think that he’s too full of himself and they’re like being nice to him just for old times’ sake.

I know I might seem hypocrite but I’ve never told this to anyone and the reason I’m writing about this now is because he had done an indefensible act. I can’t tell you what it really was but it was something that really pushed me to the limit. I was blown away so bad, I didn’t have enough time to react properly to his remark and all I manage was to laugh it out. And luckily, he never saw the shock through my reaction so he just went on and on. What a prick. So I’ve managed to completely change the way I think about him now.

Shut it down. Deal Breaker.

Yaaay! I’m so back myself now. 😀

Later, I’ll be going to Jen’s house because we we’re both invited to a friend’s graduation party. It’ll be an early dinner for us so maybe afterwards Jen and I will be hanging out.

Happy days are coming. 🙂

Cheerless Mood

I should be happy right now. Today is the graduation celebration for my cousin. 🙂 But dang I feel tired instead. I spend my whole day at our store. I should’ve been with my mom when she attended the baccalaureate mass this morning but I was on my way to our store. I had no choice but to give way to them.

Also, I woke up early this morning around 3:30 AM and checked my phone. My friend texted me that our grades were already posted. And so I checked my account and went into grades section and goddamnit I wish I could turn back the time at that moment when I saw my score because I didn’t think it was possible for me to sleep again.

With all these and that, I am hoping to be forgiven with my cheerless mood. I just couldn’t bring myself to lighten up. I just can’t, okay?

And one thing more, I think I’m starting to get attached to someone. Ghaad seriously, when will I learn?

K. The Most Annoying Reply

I hate in when people text me back with “K”. Like how the fuck am I supposed to respond to that shit?

If you’re going to text me first, at least try to keep the conversation going. Saying words like “LOL” “OH” “AH”. Well damn, do you ever say anything else?

Worst thing is that it took me 5 long minutes to type and there’s that 2 minutes of thinking so all in all it’s roughly 7 minutes of my time spent and all I get back is “K”?!!

I understand that it depends on who you are talking to. But seriously people, not everyone is your best friend.

I do it too occasionally, but that is when I’m annoyed or when the person I’m talking to doesn’t expect any other response except for my confirmation which could be done by “Okay”.

Dang people, expand your vocab. “K” is not even a word. And oh please, don’t get me started with “Kk”.

Night Jog

Last night, my mom and I went for a quick jog in Sagñay, a suburban area. We felt the rural tranquility of the place so we totally had a good time running. Too bad tho we didn’t have other company with us. The original plan was to jog from Sagñay to Nato, a beach neigborhood. But then, it was kinda late night already and there were quite a few motorcycles passing by the road PLUS it’s dark on the way so we didn’t give it a go.

Half an hour after running and squirming(yes, I did squirm a lot. Mom kept on scaring me whenever we pass a dark shade), we finally went on a stop and decided to visit my mom’s cousin. Spent another hour chatting with them while sitting outside their house. Damn. It felt good to just sit and feel the fresh air. It’s not everyday we see a road with nothing but stray cats and dogs.

Liebster Award

liebster

I woke up this morning learning that I have been nominated for Liebster Award. Yay!! My first ever blog award. I’d like to give special thanks Megan for nominating me. You rock, Megan.  🙂

The ‘Liebster Award’ is an award which can be given to bloggers with under 200 followers so get them in contact with other bloggers and know in the blogging community. After completing this post, I will be informing those who I wish to nominate for this award, so the rules will be posted below for everyone to see.

Rules

•List 11 facts about yourself
•Answer 11 questions that’s given by the one who nominated you.
•Create 11 new questions
•List some bloggers under the 200 followers and tag them in your post and let them know!

11 Random facts about me

1. I don’t like burgers and I’m not into fries that much. *nose scrunch*

2. My lucky numbers are two and thirteen. Two, just because I like it. ^^ Thirteen, because it’s my birth date.

3. I’m a big collector of little cute post-it. Especially those with vintage design.

4. Beef jerky! I could be thrown far far away in a land of nowhere and still survive. Just give me a handful of those please.

5. I’d like to think I’m good at playing Sudoku and Rubix cube. 🙂 Math geek, eh? Not really 😉

6. I have a thing for musicians. I like a guy who could play a guitar. Ghaad. Just thinking about it gives me the chills.

7. I’m quite an independent woman in a sense that I wouldn’t give a fudge just because I’m by myself watching a movie or to strolling in a mall or whatever. But still, having company is much better and I prefer having someone with me as much as possible.

8. I can’t cook. I just can’t, damnit!

9. Wanderlust, my personal favorite. I could spend my whole life wandering and meandering aimlessly. I love traveling and all that screams ADVENTURE!

10. I love anything that’s vintage.

11. I love water in general. I prefer rain so much than the sun. I’m a beach rather than a swimming pool person. I love going in the middle of the ocean with nothing but a swimming goggles.

My Answers to Liv’s Question

1. Do you have a hidden talent?

Yep. I can do the aging voice. Haha. I know it’s not much but I’m proud of it because my family can’t. Lol. A lot of people got fooled by my talent too. Funny times.

2. What’s your favorite quote?

Everything happens for a reason. As cliche as it sounds, this one is a lot deeper than one can think.

3. What do like doing besides blogging?

I seldom blog so these are the things that I usually do. Listening to music, writing diary, running, watching movies, reading books, playing with my baby sis, chatting, tumblring, imagining, and sleeping during afternoons.

4. What is your dream job?

I don’t have a dream job now. But I had before. I wanted to be a dentist when I was a kid. After that, I dreamt of being a flight attendant so that I could be everywhere else. And lastly, when I was in highschool, I was contemplating to be a volunteer (peace corps, united nation or even locally).

5. What is your favorite TV program?

A South Korean game show called Running Man. Funny as shit. Watch it. 🙂

6. What is your favorite chocolate?

*nose scrunch* at the sight of the word chocolate. 🙂 I have nothing against it, it’s just not my thing. Vanilla for me is.

7. What is the weirdest/most random piece of trivia you know?

Idk any. Help me?

8. Is there any TV shows you want to start watching? If so what?

Yes please! NCSI, Suits, Law and Order, New girl, Sherlock, Friends. Too many for my little luxury time. 😦

9. What are you meant to be doing right now?

Eat my lunch. I’m starting to feel hungry but I’m all alone so maybe I’ll just leave it at that.

10. What’s your dream bedroom look like?

Uggh. Too bad I can’t show you the pic. It’s on my other pc. Anyway, I just want a small room with an open balcony so that I can use it for my telescope for stargazing. One of the things I love is stargazing 🙂 which brings me to rooftops. I want a room with an access to the attic by a ladder or anything and up in the attic I can go open an installed window and feel the night air! 🙂

11. What is your favourite thing about blogging?

I’m a sentimental person and I’d like to keep things and memories through whatever means. Blogging for me is like a diary, instead it’s online and other people have access to it. It also helps me express my emotion that only blog can satisfy. 😉

Questions for my nominees

Are ya ready all?

1. Can you describe yourself in one word?
2. What are you most grateful for?
3. Do you have a pet?
4. What’s your favorite book? Why?
5. What are the five items you can’t live without?
6. Would you rather run 20 miles or swim 5 miles?
7. Do you collect anything?
8. When I say ‘childhood’ where does your mind take you?
9. Are you a negative or a positive person?
10. What is one thing that you dislike about you?
11. Who’s your top 3 fave actresses?

And my Nominees

Last Rain Drop

My Heart Beats For Love

Ramblings From The HEART

The Little Things

My Red Shades

From Here to Nowhere

Diary of A Tigh-Lipped Girl

Karama