2019 Goals

Hey stranger, so I know this may seem a bit cliché. And let me tell you, it is cliché but I’m doing it anyway 🙂

1. Read More Books

Okay, so this one I need to take priority!!!! I’ve been neglecting reading for almost 2 years now. I used to love reading books. I think I still love reading books. The only difference is that I don’t find the time to read now, that’s why I’m making it a top priority for 2019 to finally get back to the reading game and finally improving my English again.

    2. Create a New Blog

Trust me when I say I’ve created multiples of blogs for myself. Maybe 5-8 already? But this time, Imma make it really legit and simple. I wanna start doing more. I wanna achieve and show more with this new website that I will make. Wait and see, I’ll make it! 🙂

    3. More Skin Care Less Make Up

Although this has been the case for years, I want to give more attention to my skin next year. I want to be able to really achieve what I want. Try to eat healthy foods and take care of my skin religiously is the way to go.

    4. EXERCISE. FOR. FUCKS. SAKE.

Come on, I need to exercise for fucks sake. I think exercise is one of the most New Year’s Resolutions of people. And even so, that’s one of mine too. Haha. Seriously, I need to get back on track. I miss MMA. I miss boxing. I miss running. Let’s not be such a lazy bum and actually do it, all right?

This my friend, believe it or not, will help me in achieving all of this things. Thoughts grow into reality, never heard of that? List what you wanna happen and trust me, you’ll be on the right track. You’re welcome! 😉

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Hurdle Number 1 in 2018

My first hurdle of the year came this morning at my email. I was removed from the online job that I was with since last December. It’s funny because today marks the first month that I’d be working with them. I emailed them for a dispute, of course. I wanted to fight, at least, if they were to throw me out of their team. But if after that still nada, then that’s fine. It happens for a reason. Although, this morning I was really feeling blue and a bit angry. But then, I shared the news with my mom and she just know what to say. She makes everything so easy. It’s as if everything she says make sense. It’s absolutely amazing how she can do that.

Anyway, I’m currently at a cafe. Just by myself. Yep. I’ve always wanted to do this! Alone in a secluded cafe with my laptop and diary at the side table sipping coffee and eating cake. Gosh but damn that’s expensive. AHHAHAH. So yes, here I am and literally only the person in the cafe. The reason being is that I needed to download an application and the internet back home is just not helping me get that. To my dismay though, it seems like the internet in this cafe is slower than my grandma. I can’t. I’m happy that I finally did the be-in-a-secluded-cafe but come on, man, I came with a purpose. Good thing, dad called and said the electricity’s back at his place. I guess, it’s time so say good bye to this cute-but-has-shitty-internet cafe. Ciao.

 

Thank you, 2017.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Last day of 2017. Wow. I mean, time flies so damn fast. Tomorrow, though it may not dawn on us yet that it’s 2018 already, it’s important to recognize the New Year! Make some New Year’s resolution. It’s not cliché. It’s not ridiculous to have NY’s resolution. In fact, it’s one of the ways to show that we are ready for a new beginning and we are ready to move forward with a positive attitude. I used to think that making a resolution for the New Year is absurd because, let’s face it, no one actually make it to the second day of a new year without violating something on their lists. 😂 But now, I’ve realize that it’s not about just the simple repetitive list that we make. More importantly, it’s about having the right mind setting as we enter into a new year. I know we have all the time to do whatever it is to change whenever we want to, but this is the chance especially for those who hasn’t begun in their make-over journey. Having the list as your guide will help you stay in line for your focus and goals throughout the year. If you don’t agree, then I understand. You must be going through something to even care about waking up let alone having a NY’s resolution. I’ve been there so I know.

But anyway, if you were to sum up this year into one sentence, what would it be?

I bet you’re all like This year has been such a rollercoaster of events and emotions or I’m just glad year is over or something like what I would go for this year like This year has been a salvation year for me.

I had the rollercoaster type of answer for years wherein I was thankful despite the majority shitness throughout every year. I remember struggling to feel okay and see the light despite the shady things in my life then. But not this time.

On January, a month since I came home, I was feeling lonely more than happy to be back.  I didn’t have a work and I was missing my life in Chicago. Basically, I was still adjusting to everything.

On March, I decided to pursue my application to universities. I wanted to have A life back in order. I let myself be sad. I let myself cry. I let myself loath. But I also told myself that there’s an end to this.

On June, I turned 22. Also on my birthday was my last day to drink alcohol. Been sober ever since.

On July, the month that completely changes me. Here’s the month I started healing and the month I started to get sick. Just when I started getting rid of toxins and bad habits both in my body and mind, I was diagnosed with a sickness. A semi-major sickness, just to categorized. By that time, I had already got in and enrolled for the Spring 2018 but since I was sick, I had no choice but to defer.

On September, I was getting better. Thanks for the help of the people who cares about me.

On November, easy come easy go seemed to be the highlighted quote of the month.

On December, here I am. Still fighting and hoping and breathing and everything! I am happy. When one goes, comes a better one. Now, that’s a better quote I have than the last month.

Thank you, 2017. Thank you for hurting me, loving me, teaching me a lesson, abandoning me. You made me nothing but stronger this year. I am so happy that finally some part of me is back in piece with myself. This year was not much but staying home but the lessons I learned, the development I’ve gained were much more than the year I had when I was being productive.

This is my last message for the year. I’ll be seeing you, next year!

Ja ne,

Gureru

Loud Mind of Mine

My cute ass was dragged all weekday for IELTS review last week, and as if that weren’t enough, I had to speak in front of everyone every damn day. It was the speaking module week, that’s why. I just got so nervous without any warning and I usually can’t speak straight when I’m scared! I kept trying to shake off the uneasiness by thinking about funny or good memories but it was no help. Really, the more I tried the more it worsened.

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Just earlier, I asked a friend a question that resulted to a misunderstanding between us. What happened was that friend replied something stupid to my question making me feel like a fool. And now I’m hurt that’s why, I’m drawing away my attention to anything that won’t trigger my mind to remember the incident.

So today I find myself asking what is a good distraction from things I don’t want to think?

After a thought…

All I can think about is I’m crazy to assume that any diversion would work. I realize I probably just have to face it head-on and give myself a break. Well, how about just speaking freely not caring about possible mistakes or just letting myself stutter until I can finally fucking deliver it clearly? Like why worry about that friend when I know it wouldn’t be a freakin’ lost if I lose that one person? I mean just do your thing and stop worrying, self.

It makes sense, right? I can’t worry about everything all at once. There’s just so much to do and only hours in a day. Just one fucking thing at a time. If certain fate is meant to be yours, then what’s the rush? I know it is easier to say and realize all of these things than actually doing and applying it in life. But I think when you know what’s going on, you’ll actually find a way to make it right—well, at least you’ve made you’re first step to the lifeline.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

At least, let me start off by greeting you a Happy Chinese New Year in chinese:

“Gong Xi Fa Cai!!” (Wishing you to be prosperous in the coming year)

And a fun way to respond to that one:

“Hong Bao Na Lai. ^^” (Red envelope please!)

Another way of saying Happy Chinese New Year is:

“XIN NIAN KUAI LE!” (新年快樂) which quite literally means Happy New Year.

Xin Nian (新年) is New Year. Xin is new and Nian is year.
Kuai le (快樂) is happiness, joy, delight, or rejoicings.

So it’s like ‘New Year Happy’ in Chinese when you literally translate it. 😀

Anyways, have fun today (Hell yeah, coz it’s holiday today!!). Wear lucky stuff and anything that could fight off bad spirits and luck! Listen to feng shui and live a prosperous year. Duuh, tho even I have doubts in those things. But whatever, there’s no harm in trying. Good luck!